July, 2009

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Snippets and glimpses

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

I try to avoid posts like this, because I don’t want to assume that people other than my mom are interested in the minutia of my every day life.  But the truth is that my creativity, energy, and brainpower are currently being channeled elsewhere, and I cannot find the time nor the lucidity to pull together anything semi-intelligent-sounding.

Although I did say “lucidity.”  So.  There’s that.

–    I’m going to the Y every night around 8:30 or 9, and I have rediscovered my love of working out at night, like I did when I lived in Seattle.  It’s amazing, and fits with my natural clock and rhythm.
–    I am approaching the 4-month marker in my new job, and let me just say that starting a job in which one has no previous experience is difficult.  I hate not feeling completely competent, and my brain is saturated with new information every single day.  But I am working hard, and starting to feel like I sort of comprehend what’s going on – not to mention, I work with some very wonderful people (SHOUT OUT, Emma!).  So, heigh-ho.
–    The Facebook fast is going well, and is enabling me to have somewhat of a “soul sabbatical.”  I was worried that apart from Facebook, I wouldn’t know what’s happening in the world – but actually?  It’s kind of nice not to know.  (Unless there is something important going on in YOUR life that I should know about – in which case, please tell me!)
–    Without a steady stream of Facebook notifications being sent to my inbox, I get basically zero emails anymore – but the few that I do get are amazing.  Val writes particularly sensational messages.  We’ve had quite the volley of emails going back and forth this week.
–    For those of you who ARE on Facebook, you should look up Souder Photography.  Their stuff is pretty amazing, and you might see a familiar face in the Musicians/Artists album…
–    For the first time since November, I have the beginnings of some new songs – and this makes me so happy, I cannot even say.
–    Some recent keywords that have led people to this blog: “how could a man make a woman feel more feminine,” “flirting her hanky,” and “by myself housesitter mirror pants.”  What am I writing about?  And why on earth are you still here?
–    I cannot believe I’m saying this, but yesterday, I was so thankful that I lived in Nashville instead of Seattle.
–    Tonight, I’m flying to California for another wedding – this time, my friend Sheryl and her Ukrainian sweetie, Vadym.  For almost 2 years, I thought that Vadym’s name was Roma.  I have no idea how that happened, but there it is.  I’ve known Sheryl for 25 years; for you mathematicians, that is 92.5% of my life.

I’ll be back next week to regale you with stories from the weekend – vodka toasts and… whatever else I learn to be particularly “Ukrainian.”

I promise I won’t keep doing this

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009


But… I just love him so much.  So much that I want to be just like him.

I offer no explanation

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009


I’m not feeling many words these days.  Obviously.

But I will say GOOD LUCK to my friends Joey and Stephanie who are both taking the bar exam starting today.  Rock it like it’s your job until it IS your job.

Just another Sunday afternoon

Monday, July 27th, 2009


Excerpts from recent emails with Greta

Friday, July 24th, 2009

You can guess who said what.

– – – – – – – –

I will never, ever understand why God thought insects were a good idea.  I mean, they rhyme with “in sex.”  Which makes no sense.

It turns out beat boxing is kind of super cool and attractive.

Isn’t it strange that “obvious” and “oblivious” are so close in letters, but so far apart in meaning?

dat eez cuz onlee kool emo geekas unnastan the funnee.

Sometimes I just want to press a button under my arm and shoot upwards into space.

I called 911.  (I love calling 911.)

I wish I could pull up a sidewalk square and see you pop up underneath.

– – – – – – – –

Missing this friend today.

Sending Dawn to Antarctica

Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009

If there’s anything that I love about blogging, it’s the possibility of a connection.

And no, not just for me.

Did you know that two different couples have met in the comments section of this blog, and dated for a bit?  I mean, people with NO prior association, and I had nothing to do with it – I didn’t even know it was happening until it was happening.

So, if nothing else, let that be a lesson to you: comment on blogs – you never know whose internet eye you’re going to catch with your wit and thumbnail picture.

Then again, you could wind up like me – just the ring-leading moron.

Anyway, she might be someone I have never met face-to-face.  But people, Dawn is a Hootenannie reader – she is ONE OF US – and she is trying to get to Antarctica.  I love her passion and enthusiasm for a place that so many of us think of as totally barren; this passion has led her to enter a contest in which the grand prize is a trip to the polar regions.

But she needs your votes!

Click here to vote for Dawn – to support someone you didn’t even know you were connected to – and help her dream come true.  It will cost you nothing.  And honestly (I’m channeling Ira Glass here), what kind of a person do you want to be?  Someone who sits back assuming that someone else will do it for you – or a person of ACTION?

I might be putting words in her mouth now, but I am telling you that if you vote for her, she will bring you back a baby penguin.


Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

If eyes cleansed with tears see the most clearly, then today, I have perfect vision.

Sometimes, I think that I’ve gotten really good at confessing my tiny faults in hopes that no one will ever suspect nor discover the big ones.  But lately, I’m not very good at hiding them – and as a result, have been pummeled with my rather large, rather imperfect, imperfections.

I guess that’s bound to happen when you exist in relationship with other humans.

We are messy creatures.  I am a messy creature.

And sometimes, it brings a lot of tears.

But I’m learning that the people who stay – the ones who don’t run away when the going gets tough, the ones who listen without trying to fix, the ones who forgive ugly words and flat-lined attitudes and the same old shit that you carry around no matter how your life changes or morphs or moves – are worth anything and everything it takes.

Communication.  Honesty.  Vulnerability.  Compromise.  Effort.  Forgiveness.

I am learning a lot.  And I don’t call them my “starter husbands” for nothing.

– – – – – – – –

My friend Heather (SHOUT OUT) recently told me that this blog is the only “Dear Diary” blog that doesn’t make her want to vomit.  Well, that kind of made me want to vomit, because wait – I don’t write a “Dear Diary” blog, do I?

Who am I kidding.

Enough about my feelings.  I’m changing the subject.

I woke up this morning with 7 spider bites on my thigh, abdomen, and armpit.

I never go to movies, but all of a sudden, I want to see a ton: “Away We Go,” “Harry Potter,” “Where the Wild Things Are,” “Julie and Julia,” “The Time Traveler’s Wife” (you know during the preview where he says, “You have a choice,” and she says, “I never had a choice”?  I LOSE MY MIND), and “500 Days of Summer.”

I wish I had a cute lunch bag.

Off the grid

Monday, July 20th, 2009

On Saturday afternoon, just after discovering some sort of maggot larvae undulating in my bottle of cumin (do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for the opportunity to use the word “undulate” – and how this horrifying experience totally wasn’t worth the satisfaction?), I deactivated my Facebook account.

I am trying to give my spirit a fighting chance at being still.  It’s amazing to me how unaccepted that is in today’s culture.  But Facebook felt like it was adding to the noise and clutter in my mind, and is, thus, worthy of a hiatus at the very least.  That’s about all the explanation I am willing to give.

I am just now realizing that this means no one will get a reminder that my birthday is coming up.


I know that I’ll reactivate it sometime relatively soon(ish), but until then, if you want to find me, you know how.

Heroes of the day

Friday, July 17th, 2009

Julie: right before she kicked some serious booty on the GRE (not the GED, as I frequently refer to it), she sent me flowers at work yesterday.  She is so thoughtful, I can’t even stand it.  Julie Curtis is, perhaps, THE nicest person I know.

Like, when I come home from the gym and I’m completely, disgustingly sweaty, and she still insists on hugging me – which probably makes me way more uncomfortable than it does her… sort of like when someone else offers to do your laundry, and you’re like, “No, it’s okay,” and they insist, “No, it would be my pleasure!” and you say, “No, honestly, please don’t,” but they do it anyway, and you cringe because the nicest person in the world has now seen your literal dirty laundry – and they probably don’t even HAVE dirty laundry, because they’re the nicest person in the world.

That’s how Julie makes me feel.  Minus the uncomfortable, awkward stuff.  So, in a word: cherished.

Duane: even though he didn’t know the songs, he stepped in last-minute and played guitar for the songs at Neighborhood Group last night, leaving me with the stress-free job of just singing.  He saved the day.  AS USUAL.  And let’s just say that his alleged “rusty” guitar playing eclipses my very best.

Handy Graham: when no one was home yesterday, he came to the JAM House, chopped up the gigantic tree limb that has been blocking our driveway for over a month, and stacked the wood out by our dumpsters.  If you are a single girl living with other single girls, you KNOW this is heroic.  As Mel said, “It makes me want to cry!”

Phil: moment 3:41.  You are getting me through the day, Phil.  You are getting me through the day.

Nobody’s perfect

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

I tout myself as a thrifty person – one who hates to waste anything – and will find a use for every half-used jar of marmalade, every discarded ribbon from a birthday present, every unloved piece of furniture.

However, I am a fraud – no better than a snake oil salesman.

My parents recently visited me in Nashville, and my dad bought a 2-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi.  I don’t drink pop, but I couldn’t bring myself to dump out the still half-full bottle when he left.  So rather than tossing the $1’s worth of leftovers down the drain, I went out and spent $20 on a bottle of rum.

Rum and Diet Pepsi isn’t even an awesome drink.

But I tell you what: every drop of that Diet Pepsi was utilized.

Still, that was really stupid financial reasoning.

I suppose even angels fall.