If eyes cleansed with tears see the most clearly, then today, I have perfect vision.
Sometimes, I think that I’ve gotten really good at confessing my tiny faults in hopes that no one will ever suspect nor discover the big ones. But lately, I’m not very good at hiding them – and as a result, have been pummeled with my rather large, rather imperfect, imperfections.
I guess that’s bound to happen when you exist in relationship with other humans.
We are messy creatures. I am a messy creature.
And sometimes, it brings a lot of tears.
But I’m learning that the people who stay – the ones who don’t run away when the going gets tough, the ones who listen without trying to fix, the ones who forgive ugly words and flat-lined attitudes and the same old shit that you carry around no matter how your life changes or morphs or moves – are worth anything and everything it takes.
Communication. Honesty. Vulnerability. Compromise. Effort. Forgiveness.
I am learning a lot. And I don’t call them my “starter husbands” for nothing.
– – – – – – – –
My friend Heather (SHOUT OUT) recently told me that this blog is the only “Dear Diary” blog that doesn’t make her want to vomit. Well, that kind of made me want to vomit, because wait – I don’t write a “Dear Diary” blog, do I?
Who am I kidding.
Enough about my feelings. I’m changing the subject.
I woke up this morning with 7 spider bites on my thigh, abdomen, and armpit.
I never go to movies, but all of a sudden, I want to see a ton: “Away We Go,” “Harry Potter,” “Where the Wild Things Are,” “Julie and Julia,” “The Time Traveler’s Wife” (you know during the preview where he says, “You have a choice,” and she says, “I never had a choice”? I LOSE MY MIND), and “500 Days of Summer.”
I wish I had a cute lunch bag.