Tonight

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I am leaving for Haiti tonight – on the heels of the saddest week of my life.

The situation involves more people than just myself, so I won’t say much.  But this is something that began all the way back here – and now, over 8 months later, my heart is torn down the middle like a paper valentine.

I will be boarding the plane tonight a hollow shell.  I could not have planned that the timing of this trip would coincide with the events of the past few days.  I am raw and fragile and physically shaking, and easy as blowing on a dandelion, I come apart.

But I have been shown such kindness in the last few days – from friends and co-workers and even a few strangers.  Thank you for purchasing my songs, and as of today, fully funding my trip to Haiti.  Thank you for your emails and phone calls to tell me that I’m cared about.  Thank you for taking responsibilities off of my plate so I could focus on the crisis at hand.

And as inconsequential as it may seem, thank you for reading these words today.  It would have felt dishonest to not share the state of my heart as I leave – and it’s a really big deal to be able to share a little sliver of one’s struggles, even if just through writing.

Despite all I have lost this week, I am blessed.  I really am.  Next time you hear from me, I’ll be at Mission of Hope, blogging with a Haitian accent.

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20 Comments

  1. Whitney on February 25, 2011 at 9:38 AM

    Annie,

    Grief is a funny and not funny at all thing. Something which sticks around like snowflakes on a wool coat in the cold. It sometimes seems like so much and sometimes not so much, but it’s stuck to your coat anyway. So, I will pray for you to have a warm coat the grief, so you can still open your heart to all this trip will offer.

    Then again, you probably won’t see much snow in Haiti.

    Can’t wait to read about the trip!

  2. Lan on February 25, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    travel safe.

  3. Tim on February 25, 2011 at 10:05 AM

    Praying for you.

  4. shanna on February 25, 2011 at 10:42 AM

    Praying for you, too.

  5. Sarah on February 25, 2011 at 10:50 AM

    a broken spirit coming to a broken nation to be with her broken sister. it is a beautiful and healing place here. can’t wait for you to feel it yourself.

  6. Angelica on February 25, 2011 at 11:02 AM

    Psalm 118:6 says “The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

    Good Luck in Haiti, praying for you

    from one of AnnieBlogs-ies

  7. Ginger Ciminello on February 25, 2011 at 12:26 PM

    “But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it.” 2 Timothy 4:17

    May His presence be felt.
    xo

  8. Val on February 25, 2011 at 12:56 PM

    <3

  9. Emily from Seattle on February 25, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Praying for you….it’s been a tumultuous couple of weeks for me, too….

  10. paul on February 25, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    I hope your trip is amazing and I hope you return renewed and reenergized to take on the world like only hootenannie can.

  11. Bree Jeffries on February 25, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    So many prayers for you. You are beautifully strong in your heartache and struggle. You always have been. That’s Jesus in you.

  12. Emily on February 25, 2011 at 3:04 PM

    Annie, I am praying comfort for you.

  13. Alissa on February 25, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    May your heart find healing in a place of brokenness. Praying that you find what you need as you give what is needed.

  14. Merideth on February 25, 2011 at 8:37 PM

    I’m a friend of Annie Downs. I pray you have an amazing experience in Haiti. Also praying for you in your difficult time.

  15. Allie on February 25, 2011 at 10:48 PM

    Oh, Annie. I love you and am praying for your sweet heart. May God give you the strength He gave me through your words this past fall.

  16. Brent on February 26, 2011 at 5:50 AM

    I don’t know really much about your life. I follow your blog and feel like you’re my friend because that’s the kind of blog you have. And I’m sorry for whatever has happened, but as a stranger who you’ve allowed in via this little webroom, can I humbly say that I am so confident that whatever is happening, you are a terribly strong woman, you are a force in the world. You bring your friends and your strangers a bit of light even in your darkest times through this blog/journal/sharespot. I am always surprised that even when you are down, you seem to still give through your writing, that in some way your sharing feels like a gift to us people who read here. Maybe it seems silly, but I’m confident that you are going to be ok, because I so much believe in the person I see writing here. For whatever it’s worth, I think Annie Parsons is hot shit and people better step because girl is still on the move in this place.

    And I’ll say this again: I can’t wait to hear how you experience Haiti. Whatever you have time to share, I look forward to reading.

    Thanks for keeping this blog up, Annie Parsons. It’s a bit of light.

  17. Carolina Linthead on February 26, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    What Brent said! That is one beautiful testament to what your blog means, what you mean, to so many of us. We believe in you, Annie Parsons, and our thoughts and prayers are with you even now as you journey to Haiti. Godspeed, grace, and peace to you, our friend!

  18. MIranda on February 26, 2011 at 9:34 AM

    I love you AP

  19. Little AP on February 26, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    Praying for you on this trip. Stay safe, and keep us posted. :) We’re all rooting for you.

  20. Anya Elise on February 27, 2011 at 10:55 AM

    It seems the best words have already been said in the comments above my own, but still, just know that there’s yet another gal who’s sending you warm, comforting thoughts. You’re an inspiration and definitely “a force in the world” (as Brent so nicely put it), and your ability to give of yourself as you do in your life and via this blog is the most sincere example of strength and faith.
    Be safe! And may you find peace during your travels.

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