Time is ticking away


My friend Mark recently forwarded me a link to a fascinating article from the New York Times.

Hold it. Clarification. This article is more than fascinating – it is universe tilting, so insane that my brain feels like it’s been put into a blender and turned to “Frappe.” Read it first. And then continue reading on…

I had never heard of the Copernican formula, but now that I have, I wanted to put it to the test. I am a big fan of things being predictable, of knowing what is going to happen and when. I carry a red leather-bound calendar with me everywhere I go, and in it I keep not only my own schedule, but my friends’ and families’ plans. I am a fan of short-term survival and long-term goals. I keep a watchful eye on my finances, and am largely a very steady, responsible person. I love knowing the plan, and having the necessary data to project ahead into the future.

So I went ahead and shook the Magic 8 Ball that is the Copernican formula, and asked a very unpredictable question: “When am I going to die?”

Now, I am no math wizard, and I will spare you all of the painful mathematical details… mostly because they’re probably incorrect. BUT! According to my calculations, with 95% certainty, I am going to die sometime between this coming year, and 600 years from now.

Thank you, Dr. Gott, for providing me with a sure fate I can count on – at least with 95% accuracy.




  1. Lyla on July 19, 2007 at 2:19 PM

    That’s awesome.

  2. I'm Ashlee. on July 19, 2007 at 3:01 PM


  3. I'm Ashlee. on July 19, 2007 at 3:01 PM


  4. BJ on July 19, 2007 at 3:41 PM

    With 95% certainty, Felix Hernandez, who currently has 344 strikeouts, will earn atleast 9 more but finish his career with less than 118,336. I’m betting on a cool 100,000.

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