The secret lives of old ladies


This afternoon, I was hanging out with Micah and Tyler, the world’s coolest nephews (don’t dispute it – this is a scientific fact). We went upstairs to their playroom, full of awesome, rad toys. Micah proceeded to “beat” me with a baseball bat until I was lying on the floor.

“Here, Annie, put this under your head – it’s a pillow.” Micah shoved a big cardboard block my way.

“Now open wide – here’s your medicine.” He drove a small shovel into my mouth, so far that it gagged me.

“Time for pliers.” Attaching plastic pliers to my hair, he pulled.

“Now the saw. You’re an old lady. There go your arms!” He imagined me chainsawed down to just a head.

Disturbed at his bizarre violence, I asked, “Micah, do old ladies get sawed?”

He didn’t bat an eye: “Nope. Just hammered and screwed.”



  1. Sarah Kate on September 24, 2007 at 8:34 PM

    Gee! I can’t wait to be old!

  2. ashley parsons on September 24, 2007 at 9:12 PM

    yep, we’ve taught him well how to treat a lady. he’s my own son, and I am still cracking up.

  3. Joel on September 25, 2007 at 3:47 AM

    hmm. well documented, Annie. Thank goodness I’ll never be an old woman!

  4. Greta on September 25, 2007 at 10:25 AM

    HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! Hammered and screwed…. oh wow. Am I immature for thinking that’s so funny?

  5. Mark on September 29, 2007 at 7:57 PM

    Oh my…. hammered and screwed. Nope- that is funny.

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