Be here now


Okay, let’s level.

I have been on The Big Trip for 6-weeks now, and in the midst of having a blast, today is the first day that I have had to remind myself, “You are having fun. No really, this is a GOOD thing. You are happy and doing well. Believe it.” I am having an amazing time seeing new cities, visiting friends, exploring, and meeting new people – but… ugh, I don’t know. I am such a nester. I love having my home, my stuff, my routine, and the feeling that I am being productive. And after 6-weeks without a real home, or job, or sense of stability, I am starting to feel a little bit sad.

It is amazing to be here in Nashville, the city that I will soon call “home.” It is a vibrant community, full of young energy and music and interesting people. There is life to be lived here, and I cannot wait to jump in head-first in January. But right now, I feel a little bit crippled in that I DON’T live here, DON’T have a home, DON’T have a job, DON’T have any idea what my life here will look like. So how do I engage? How do I approach the city and the people? I am currently without definition. I don’t know how delineate myself, aside from being a girl with a suitcase who forgot all of her jewelry in Kansas City.

But I suppose that life cannot wait. I cannot just pause until January, when I assume my life will really begin again. This is my life, right here, right now. It’s a time unlike any other I will probably ever have.

And so on Saturday night, when I was being driven by a quadrapilegic in a wheelchair-accessible van to former-President Andrew Jackson’s homestead for a haunted tour of the grounds, I had to pinch myself. When a new friend took me to a bar set up in a greenhouse and opened my car door for me just because this is what guys in the south do, I had to chuckle. When I attended a church service alone and cried through all of the music just because it is amazing to hear an entire room of people sing, I simply sat in wonder. Is this my life?

Yes. Yes it is. And I choose to be here now.



  1. rachel rianne on October 23, 2007 at 10:18 AM

    *yeah i’m a loser and found a typo… proceeded to delete and edit. but hey. at least it’s presentable now.

    the concept of being on the brink of a new place and life is awesome.
    and then actually being on that brink is terrifying and completely uncomfortable.
    and then getting past that point and finding a place to settle down
    is when you realize it’s all worth it.
    i’m excited for the next part for you, miss annie.

    stay safe on those roads.
    size up the town you’ll soon own,
    because we all know you will.

  2. ashley & jeremy parsons on October 23, 2007 at 10:43 AM
    backdrop of that will look familiar.
    love you lots, and we are so happy to follow along on your road of discovery.

  3. MJ on October 23, 2007 at 11:55 AM

    do you want to be HERE now? Cause you’re welcome to come visit alaska before your big trip is over…

Leave a Comment