There is always more to be said

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If you believe that I have already covered the topic of the Nashville heat to satisfaction, that I have fulfilled my word quota on the subject, that I couldn’t possibly have more to say about living in the never-ending doldrums of sultry torment… THINK AGAIN.

There is no insulation in the walls of my home, and so the wimpy window air conditioner unit doesn’t make a difference. Last night was the hottest night so far, and my apartment would not cool down, no matter what. I have taken to freezing my Nalgene water bottle, and then sleeping with it in my bed at night. How resourceful – I’m a regular PRAIRIE WOMAN. It doesn’t really help, but it makes me feel like I’m doing something to combat the swelter.

A couple of weeks ago, I put on my fall clothes. I just put them on, and stood in front of the mirror, scarf and all. And then I peeled them off. I needed to remind myself that it won’t always be this way, and better days are coming, and there is hope. Incidentally, these are also the words that crisis counselors are trained to give suicidal individuals, but I digress.

Last night, I told Debbie that if I had known how miserable the summer was going to be, I never would have moved here. Maybe it’s good that I didn’t know, because I’m serious: I would not have come. I solemnly swore to her that this will be my only summer in Nashville, and that I’ll move away before June 1 next year. She told me that that’s what she said 11 years ago. I do not like those words.

I have been in an outrageously bad mood for a full 2 months, ever since my lunchtime walks around Centennial Park were terminated due to the sizzling air and scorching sun. Now, the only walking that I do is down 4 flights of stairs in the parking garage to cross over to my office building. Ever since it has gotten unbearably hot, do you want to know what the stairwell smells like? A carnival. Humid and dirty, stale popcorn and urine, old newspapers and staph infections. That is what I get to walk through on my way to work.

So Seattle, enjoy your day. No, I mean it: SOAK IT UP. Relish your 83 degrees of gorgeous bliss, with the mountains and the ocean and your patio happy hours. Think of me – whose next patio happy hour will likely be in November – in sheer misery, with no ability to think of a blog topic outside of the heat.

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14 Comments

  1. Deborah Barnett on August 6, 2008 at 10:39 AM

    So, not so coincidentally, I just, and I mean JUST, posted a blog about the heat.

    Dear Annie, I may have said those words 11 years ago. But that doesn’t mean I have complained all summer long, for 11 years.

    But it does get better. Not because the heat goes away. Or even that you get used to it. But because eventually you find away to afford an apartment or house that has rockin air conditioning. Like mine.

    I am fortunate… I know. Not everyone has this luxury. So I won’t rub it in. I promise.

    Now excuse me while I go grab my sweater. I’m a little chilly.

  2. Grant on August 6, 2008 at 10:50 AM

    I’m going to send some of the Seattle weather your way as a late birthday gift. I would try and make some excuse for Nashville, but summers there are unreal, that’s why I chose early July as my time to move…my only suggestion, Box fans…lots and lots of box fans.

  3. rachel rianne on August 6, 2008 at 11:18 AM

    hey,
    just spend your summers in lovely places like i do, and then return toward the end of august so you only have to deal with the heat for about a month.

    it’s amazing how easily i complain about 90 degree weather here, yet the same temp would kill me at home.

    i guess, we all have to suffer for what we really want.

  4. MB on August 6, 2008 at 11:21 AM

    I was wearing a fleece the other day at 11:30 am. In August! I’ve lived in the northwest for 5 years now and I’m still in shock every time I do something outside in the months of June-August and don’t feel like I need to go to a hospital afterwards. I still remember days in OK and KS when I actually had thoughts like, “Sweet, it is only going to be 95 today – maybe I’ll go for a run.”

    I don’t know if it is true in Nashville, but people in OK and KS seem to be a lot less healthy than folks in the NW, and I think a huge reason is because they can’t do things outdoors often. That and BBQ.

    I feel your pain. Well, I’ve felt your pain anyway. Hope things cool off soon. You should get a job at McDonalds just so you can stand in the walk-in freezers. Not that I ever did that . . .

  5. erin on August 6, 2008 at 12:40 PM

    i remember being at fan fare (how could i forget?!?) and feeling near death while standing at the riverfront stage. and I’M FROM ARIZONA. The humidity killed me. I had to throw away all my bras from that trip. Nashville truly is a different kind of heat with a different kind of sweat – you know, the upper lip kind and the kind betwixt your thighs resulting in gravest of all unpleasentries. YOU KNOW. and THE WORST part of all? Hair…totally pointless, totally ugly. I. WOULD. NOT. SURVIVE.

  6. Julianne on August 6, 2008 at 1:05 PM

    Well, when you’re having your patio party in November, remember me…because I’ll be putting on a parka just to check the mail. Remember Colorado? Yeah, that weather was nice. Remember Seattle/Vancouver? Yeah, I prefer mild rain to -40.

  7. Christina on August 6, 2008 at 1:12 PM

    What you’re describing? Insert the word “Boston” for “Nashville”, then “cold” for “heat” and now you know what I’m talking about between November and February. I bitch about the heat in Boston, but it is NOTHING like the South (i.e. Satan’s microwave). May God have mercy on your mortal soul.

  8. Greta on August 6, 2008 at 1:13 PM

    Maybe… you could try Otter Pops?

  9. bec on August 6, 2008 at 3:04 PM

    huck fumidity.

  10. Sarah on August 7, 2008 at 9:21 AM

    Annie,
    I hate to say it, but after growing up in Mississippi and south Louisiana this is probably the mildest summer I have ever lived through. Seriously.

    Really, August in Louisiana is so hot it’s unreal. Every time you go outside it’s like someone is smothering you with a hot wet towel. Like being hugged by Satan.

    Just put lots of ice in your drinks, move as little as possible and think cooling thoughts.

    Or better yet, embrace the heat as part of your Southern experience. Tell yourself that your shiny face isn’t sweat, but a natural “glow.” Fan yourself dramatically like Scarlett O’Hara. Blame the heat for everything you do wrong.

    Sadly, there’s no way to sex up pit stains.

  11. Rebecca on August 7, 2008 at 10:57 AM

    It’s true. Debs does have ROCKIN’ A/C. I mean ROCKIN’. It’s a wonderful feeling to wear PJ bottoms and a sweatshirt in the middle of July in Nashville. :)

    But GIRL, I feel your pain. I truly do. I am a cool weather, low humidity, lotsa rain kinda gal. I think it’s another confirmation that I am, indeed, called to live in London. ;)

  12. Isaiah Kallman on August 7, 2008 at 12:09 PM

    Yesterday, I was joking around with Roommate Josh. “Hey officer, I’m a Northerner, and I think my brains are cooking. Go ahead and arrest me for driving under the influence of HEAT.” But seriously, it’s not that bad. And I live in a sweatbox, too.

  13. Laura Jackson on August 7, 2008 at 11:03 PM

    And I on the other hand have been complaining that it’s been too cool here and not hot and sunny as I do love it. I’ll be more thankful tomorrow for the cool Seattle breeze…

  14. Vance on August 12, 2008 at 9:51 PM

    I feel your pain. Southern heat is like Kryptonite to me and any sort of personal productivity or outdoor activity. Definitely not one of the things that endears me to the South. It seems a travesty to have to waste the longest days of the year inside because it’s so hot outside. I think a stout A/C system (or emigration) is a must for those from cooler climes.

    Vance

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