After the long weekend, I am back at work. Today is the start date of 3 new employees, which technically should increase my workload by 60%. However, as my mother pointed out, 60% of zero is still zero.
I spent yesterday with Meg and Josh recording my latest song, which you can now find on MySpace. They are becoming very dear friends to me, and spending hours upon hours with them leaves me feeling happy and filled as opposed to sapped. This is a big deal for me, since I thrive on silence, and generally don’t really like people (except you – I love you – kind of), and tend to spend most of my time curled up inside my hermit crab shell, and, unless my own personal Jim Halpert comes a callin’, can’t see myself ever sharing my abode with anyone. Duane says that I’m the most extroverted introvert he knows, and since I’m not shy, maybe that’s true. But at my core, there’s no percentage of extrovert. 60% of zero is still zero.
Meg and Josh have adamantly ordered that I not leave Nashville and move back to Seattle, which I threaten to do on a regular basis, especially since at one point this weekend, it was 40 degrees hotter here than in Seattle, and that is simply unacceptable. As I type, I am sitting in my marble throne room looking out the office window at my very executive, very high-society, very important person view of downtown Nashville, and the air is hazy and opaque and blindingly white with muggy heat. The current forecast is: “Broiling, with no end in sight.” I feel my soul, my hair, my frabjous cheer withering.
But Meg and Josh say I can’t leave. Never underestimate the power of making someone feel wanted, because when they say it, simply and directly, I believe them. There’s a life for me here, and not only am I searching for it, but I’m already living it. Adventure isn’t always exciting – a lot of the time, it’s just really hard and tedious and laborious. But then there are moments – little flashes – when it feels so worth it. And I’m not ready to close this chapter of the adventure. Not yet.
So, steady on. And I’m attempting to enjoy the journey, find the everyday gifts, and stay positive. They say there’s a chance of rain this weekend.
But 60% of zero is still zero.