Temp it up


As the Temptress, I make an hourly wage, which equates to a not-very-big salary. Don’t get me wrong: for doing nothing, I make a fortune. And even if I don’t have a lot of extra cash, my bills always get paid. I am grateful for this temp job that is allowing me to have an experience here in Nashville.

But extra money is never a bad thing, right?

So I am currently doing a trial run with one of those Type From Home programs. Companies all over the world have scanned in old documents, and they need people to transcribe them. This seemed like a good fit for me because 1) I can do it at work, and 2) who is the valedictorian of typing? It sounded like easy cash.

But the program that I am using has some stipulations. There is a minimum requirement of pages to be typed each month, and if you don’t meet it – sorry, no money, not even for the pages that you DO type. There is also a maximum number of pages you can type – you may not exceed X number of pages, and therefore, X number of dollars, each month.

Doing the math, I figured out that I must type 15 pages a day to meet the minimum requirement. Not bad – especially when WHAT ELSE AM I GOING TO DO AT MY DESK? So yesterday was my first day, my grand experiment, and I was excited to get going.

Maniacally excited. I typed 75 pages.

When I walked out of work, my eyeballs fell out of my skull and rolled across the parking lot like marbles.

But you know me – I love money! I love cash! Being poor is balderdash!

So I went home, and typed some more – mostly Iranian medical documents about menstruation and chemical compounds. Adding up the pages as I went along, I started calculating the things I was going to buy: a new bottle of perfume, a ticket to Seattle, a new car… visions of Anthropologie dresses and massages and all of the things I’ve always wanted but never been able to buy… Type From Home is going to be my ticket to financial freedom!

But just before bed, I checked the website one more time… and my Blimp of a Thousand Dreams was slashed by the Grand Knife of Reality: there is a 50 page/day maximum. Anything above that is not only deleted, but then subtracted from your total. You type 51, your total is 49. You type 52, your total is 48. So because I typed close to 100 pages, I logged nearly zero.

I have a bad feeling about this.



  1. Cameron Conant on September 9, 2008 at 8:20 AM

    You are one of the funniest people I know. This is a fantastic story.


  2. Sarah Kate on September 9, 2008 at 8:29 AM

    I don’t even know what to say. This makes me so sad. And mad. What a mean, horrible trick.

  3. Greta on September 9, 2008 at 9:00 AM

    What?? I don’t understand the logic. They want pages; you’re giving them pages!! It’s not YOUR fault if you want to go above and beyond. Shouldn’t that warrant a gold star more than a slap on the hand?

    Type from home= shnipe from groan.

    And I don’t know what that means, but I’m saying it with a bitter tone of voice, which should convey everything.

  4. Sarah on September 9, 2008 at 9:48 AM

    That is really odd/crummy. I guess they don’t want you monopolizing the typing market…

    I just got scammed by an Amazon seller, if you makes you feel any better. Grrr.

    At least you didn’t actually lose any money out of the deal :).

  5. [not the] Best Blog Ever on September 9, 2008 at 10:18 AM

    Be sure to let us know how this all turns out! Like if you ever get real wages out of this company, etc. I’m wondering if it’s legit! Never heard of it before…

    Waiting in breathless anticipation!

  6. Marijke on September 9, 2008 at 1:40 PM

    No. Way.

  7. lottlebit on September 9, 2008 at 2:34 PM

    i am laughing outloud.

  8. rachel rianne on September 9, 2008 at 5:26 PM

    you try to get ahead,
    but it bites you in the butt.
    that’s hilarious.
    and terrible.
    i’m sorry.

  9. Anonymous on September 9, 2008 at 6:29 PM

    wha?!?!?! (I can’t even get the “t” out of my mouth, I am in such a stupor over this… so sad!!)

  10. jnt. on September 9, 2008 at 7:42 PM

    what in the HALE?!?!? and then you typed this blog entry by 9:15 am?!?! you are amazing. and should be rewarded for it. i am so sorry. what shmuckos.

  11. Laura on September 9, 2008 at 8:26 PM

    That is SO depressing! Damn the fine print! Better luck tomorrow :-)

  12. […] I am blogging through the weekend, because I started this thing, and I am not a quitter – except for when it comes to dieting. And Type From Home. […]

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