Pink slip

Notice of Termination

Dear Summer,
We regret to inform you that you are being fired, effective immediately. Technically, you should have been gone weeks ago – on the Autumnal Equinox, as universally agreed – but obviously, you had your Nashville constituents fooled. You hid your face for a week or so, only to reappear on the scene with a foul air and a hot head.

You have been most rude to your replacement, Lady Fall, pushing her aside and preventing her from carrying out her duties. She is a beautiful soul, ready and willing to perform her magical deeds, but it’s impossible to get anything done when you have commandeered her workstation. And let’s not forget the incident involving you using her scarf to attempt to strangle her. I know, you say that it was all in good fun – calling it “one last tryst with Mr. Sun-Kissed” but she is threatening a lawsuit. You have overstayed your welcome. This leaves me no choice but to ax you.

Summer, this may come across as discourteous, but it must be said: everyone is sick of you and your obnoxious ways. For 4 ½ months, you have greeted us each morning with the unsightly image of your butt crack of dawn. You huff and puff your way through your days, bag of Doritos in hand, sweating on everyone you encounter. You have fostered skin cancer, body odor, and bad hair days. You have inspired bikini-clad women to dance to Kid Rock on boats and in the backs of pickup trucks. And as your latest egregious act, you have threatened that tomorrow you will crank up the thermostat to 86.

Well, guess what, Summer: you 86 us, we 86 you.




  1. Greta on October 14, 2008 at 9:09 AM


    It’s cooooold in Seattle. :(

  2. bec on October 14, 2008 at 9:24 AM


  3. Lindsey on October 14, 2008 at 10:14 AM

    Hey Annie! Remember your facebook/church buddy? :o) I just saw this clip and I though of you! This was after you posted about switching over from analog and you will not go down without a fight. Check out this video.

  4. Philip Letizia on October 14, 2008 at 10:33 AM

    We obviously live in two different places. It will be summer til Thanksgiving down here, and then it turns into “just tough out the chilly breee” beach day weather, until Summer again in late February.

  5. ~lady j on October 14, 2008 at 10:40 AM

    LOL hell yes!!! :)

  6. Marijke on October 14, 2008 at 11:04 AM

    so funny…


    how’s that for goodbye summer?

  7. Joel on October 14, 2008 at 11:13 AM

    24 degrees this morning in Montrose. Woohoo!!!

  8. Deborah Barnett on October 14, 2008 at 11:49 AM

    don’t you love all the cold weather braggers? Sheesh. :o)

  9. Tad on October 15, 2008 at 10:58 PM

    You know, if Summer won’t let himself be fired, you could arrange to have him transferred indefinitely to Seattle. We can take his crap and shape him up. The Cold Rain twins are looking for a new ass to kick.

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