Paging Doctor Parsons


There is a client who frequents the office. I know his name, and respectfully call him “Doctor _________.” Because he is a doctor.

Except no. No he isn’t. Today, my co-worker said, “Why do you call him ‘doctor’? He’s not a doctor.”

Why did I think he was? What did I mis-hear, or mis-interpret, or just make up? I HAVE NO IDEA. I am completely delusional. I stopped him today and said, red-faced, “I’m really sorry – it’s been brought to my attention that you are not, in fact, a doctor. And I don’t know why, but I’ve been calling you ‘doctor’ for so long… I feel silly.”

And so he told me the story of a woman he once met years ago, and how she insisted upon being called “doctor,” even though she just had an online education certifying her with a “Doctorate of Transcendental Meditation.”

If that works, then I declare myself to have a “Doctorate of Cheese.”

– – – – – – – –

What are your weekend plans? I want to know. From ALL of you.



  1. Leslie on November 14, 2008 at 11:31 AM

    I have the Political Hacks Chili Cook Off tomorrow (Proudly Blue in a Red State – my theme of “Oklahoma, Now More Conservative than the Mormons” didn’t make the cut…) Then, tomorrow evening I have the Red Earth Buffalo Bash – a fundraiser/art auction for the preservation and promotion of Native American Art.

  2. Julianne on November 14, 2008 at 11:33 AM

    I LOVE your stories. Classic.
    This weekend…well, Jon has asked me five times what we are doing tonight, and every time I have said “I don’t know.” Tomorrow we are helping friends move. And tomorrow night we are going to a housewarming party for a work friend of Jon’s–kind of risky for us since we won’t know anyone and we can be a little anti-social. Not very exciting.

  3. Anonymous on November 14, 2008 at 11:44 AM

    Absolutely AWESOME!! I think this story is hilarious!! Totally something I could see myself doing.

  4. Annibelle on November 14, 2008 at 12:29 PM

    Hmmm… since you asked so nicely…

    Tonight I’m going to a VERY late show downtown to help out/watch William Fitzsimmons. (I may go to a bowling fundraiser prior to that, but that’s yet to be determined)

    Saturday: HOPEFULLY do laundry and hem the 5 pair of jeans I’ve been collecting since who knows when. Then, possibly catching Denison Witmer and Tyler James down in NoLibs.

    Sunday: Church and pizza party in honor of a sister who leaves for mission work in Prague

    Busy weekend, huh? I’m glad for it… It’ll keep my mind distracted.

  5. Colleen on November 14, 2008 at 12:31 PM

    That’s hilarious. :)

    Tomorrow night I’m going to see “Evita” and then I have a soccer tournament on Sunday. Yay!

  6. Christina on November 14, 2008 at 12:33 PM

    Over the weekend I will be completing my online coursework in cheese education with an emphasis on wine pairings. Then we can both be doctors!

  7. kimberly on November 14, 2008 at 12:57 PM

    that story was amazing. this is my new favorite story.

    the football team at the school where I teach at is in the playoffs, and then the cheerleaders that I used to coach have a big competition tomorrow. that’s my weekend. hooray for high school.

  8. Mary on November 14, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    Oh my gosh. I am dying. DYING. You are SO funny.
    My weekend plans involve a house-warming party on QA, hanging out with Oliver “the cutest boy in the world” (besides Micah, Tyler, Gavin, and Mason), yoga, and general relaxation. I’m house sitting at Leah’s – hello nice tv.

  9. Tad on November 14, 2008 at 2:50 PM

    So… Can we call you Doc? Sinece you have a DOC?? Ha ha!

    I’m haging out with folks and playing games. Then watching football. Glorious football. It will be like a ballet, only much more violent.

  10. [not the] Best Blog Ever on November 14, 2008 at 3:26 PM

    Hee – I like the above person’s violent ballet comment.

    I am decorating the house for Christmas! Can’t wait for the finished result. All the work to get there? Not so much.

  11. Annie Parsons on November 14, 2008 at 3:37 PM

    YAY – everyone does such great things on the weekends!

    Leslie: you Okies know how to party!

    Julianne: I LOVE going to parties where I don't know anyone – I think that you and Jon should make a goal of talking to the weirdest person in the room. And then you could blog about it?

    Anonymous: Hi, who are you? You are welcome here!

    Annibelle: I just heard of Denison Witmer! He's my friend Paul's fave. Paul is from Lancaster, and taught me the correct pronunciation of "Lancaster."

    Colleen: I hope you score a goal!

    Christina: you are already my wine & cheese mentor/hero. Nobody understands this all-important area of my life like you do…

    Kimberly: if I could go back to high school for a weekend, I would. Not for longer than a weekend. But a weekend full of football and cheering would be amazing. Enjoy! (Also, your running blog is still SO INSPIRING to me!)

    Mary: Snarfle Oliver for me. We are the luckiest girls IN THE WORLD to have such cute nephews!

    Tad: Enjoy the violent ballet – I'm sure it will be magnificent…

    Beth: really? Christmas decorations? Already? You're pregnant, so I'll excuse this behavior, but still…

    Now. I know that there are MANY other people who have read this blog and not posted their weekend plans. I watch my StatCounter like a hawk – a hawk with a desk job and a bowl full of fun-sized Twix bars. Shame shame, people. I know who you are.

  12. Marijke on November 14, 2008 at 4:00 PM

    is it worth posting given that you are soon not at your desk?

    Tonight I’m going to a workout class at the Alaska Club with my friend Devon. Except I don’t know what KIND of work out it is. Hope I like it?

    Tomorrow and Sunday I’m playing guitar for church (yes, it takes up two days…)

    And also maybe Sunday I’m recording scratch track for my UPCOMING ALBUM.

  13. erin on November 14, 2008 at 6:53 PM

    interestingly, i will be a doctor in 1.5 short years – granted, not the kind that helps people, unless you have hearing loss, or balance problems, then i have a deal for you. And yes, you will need to call me doctor, for like a day.

    and, i’m going to se my brother! yahoo!

  14. Sarah on November 14, 2008 at 8:40 PM

    I have a project to finish up, this weekend for my online class. After the new year, I’m going to be help out w/the local middle school’s saturday school session once/month.

    Lately, I’ve been getting up on Saturdays and sundays to walk for an hour to a local starbucks. I sit and read the paper for an hour, sip a latte, and walk home. It’s a really great way to start the day, if a little time-consuming…

    Have a good weekend!

  15. Nancy on November 14, 2008 at 8:55 PM

    I will be puppy-sitting tomorrow am and then taking a friend’s picture for her e-harmony ad- then going to FPC to decorate tables for a pasta-dinner fundraiser and helping serve at that…

    Sunday- church and leading worship with Brenda and Natasha – then a brunch with friends after…whew

  16. Krissie on November 14, 2008 at 9:52 PM

    Weekend plans? Not a whole lot.

    Saturday: Brunch at Alfalfa’s. Organize my pantry and spare bedroom closet. Church in evening.

    Sunday: Start getting out Christmas decorations. Maybe finish Christmas presents. Grocery shop. Enjoy the benefits of the XM/Sirius merger.

    Not too interesting, eh?

  17. Valerie on November 15, 2008 at 12:27 AM

    Why thank you for asking me, Annie! I drove four hours today to attend an elementary school carnival for work. I know, it’s rough.

    It just so happens, though, that this work event is in my hometown, so I’m spending the weekend at my parent’s house! Oh, and my brother rode down with me. Lots of good bro/sis time in the car, lemme tell ya…. :)

  18. Lyla on November 15, 2008 at 9:26 AM

    Many clients that call my work refer to one of the other receptionists as “Doctor Foster” because they assume he’s a veterinarian simply because he’s male. It’s fun to make fun of him for it.

    My plans for this weekend? I’m being dragged to James Bond. That’s the bad news. The good news is that I might get a new kitten.

  19. bec on November 15, 2008 at 12:24 PM

    haha. khool man.

    i started my weekend by traveling all day yesterday.
    this morning i worked at 5.
    now i am going to walk the greebs.
    micah’s party tonight.
    church tomorrow.
    that is all i know.

  20. Ginger on November 16, 2008 at 3:59 PM

    I’ve been so busy weekending, that I’m just now reading this post. I’ve been in Austin, TX this weekend and it does not get better than: Chili, Alamo Drafthouse showing Forrest Gump, Laser Tag, BBQ at the Salt Lick, and playing Clue until 1 in the morning. The End.

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