Yesterday, I worked Ye Olde Temp Job until about 3:30, and as I was walking out to my car, I thought to myself, “Tut tut, looks like rain.”  I was wearing a white button-down shirt, and decided against a stop at the grocery store, because what if it rains?  And my shirt becomes see-through?  Kroger is not ready for that.

Harris Teeter, perhaps – since they have already seen other things.

But not Kroger.  The little lambs.

So I drove home.  And as I did, the thunder and lightning began.  I had the distinct thought, “What if I am struck by lightning today?”  That morning when I woke up, I didn’t think this shall be the day that I shall be struck by lightning – but I bet every person who has ever been struck by lightning would say the same thing.  I totally freaked myself out.

There were tornados in Nashville yesterday.  I’ve never lived in a place with tornados before, so I don’t really have any idea what the protocol is.  Go to the basement, I suppose?  Except our basement floods when it rains.  And I have visions of being like Leo in “Titanic,” chained to a pipe in a lower-level holding room, trapped as the water rises higher and higher… and I CAN’T GO UPSTAIRS BECAUSE I WILL DIE BY TORNADO.

But… well.  It was totally fine.  I am alive.  I never saw a tornado.  Wasn’t struck by lightning.  Didn’t drown.

Guys.  Sometimes I just like to write dramatically about minuscule, harmless, meaningless details of my day.



  1. Jeremy on April 3, 2009 at 12:34 PM

    I’ve nearly been struck by lightning 3 times. No lie. I know you’re thinking, hey, that sounds ridiculous. Truth can be ridiculous. The end.

  2. Tad on April 3, 2009 at 12:37 PM

    I speak and write in superb hyperbole all the time. It’s really fun. Besides, telling grandiouse stories of normal events is how legends begin, and we all know that you are legendary.

  3. Greta on April 3, 2009 at 2:21 PM

    I completely psych myself out all the time. If anything about my body is even the tiniest bit amiss, I’m SURE it’s cancer.

    Sometimes I imagine my own funeral and cry over myself.

  4. trends watch on April 4, 2009 at 1:23 AM

    trends watch : hootenannie » Blog Archive » Tornaders…

    …There were tornados in Nashville yesterday. I’ve never lived in a place with tornados before, so I don’t really have any idea what the protocol i……

  5. Sarah Markley on April 4, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    i often think that i will be killed by a tornado yet i live in california.

    does that make me strange?

  6. Confetti on April 4, 2009 at 9:23 PM

    I hate tornadoes. And dogs named Toto.

    Invest in suba gear and head to the basement. Ha!

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