Rambling preamble to a totally pointless video


Before getting roommates this past December, I lived alone for 5 years.  I cannot remember a time that I was ever scared to live by myself.  But last night, I started to wonder… why?

I’m still house-sitting, and when it was close to midnight and I was in bed working on the computer, one of the dogs sat straight up and started growling.  He made his way to the doorway to the hall, and then started barking ferociously.

I knew that someone was in the house.

I knew that he was coming down the hall.

I knew that I should have made Charlton Heston my president.

I sat there frozen as Lucky the dog ran down the hall and out to the living room.  Then everything fell silent.

That’s when I got TERRIFIED.

Because I started hearing whispers – like the smoke monster from “Lost.”  So not only is there someone in the house, but he is a Jedi of canines, and is putting Lucky into a trance, and if he can do that to a yellow Lab, then what can he do to me?  I’m going to wind up with a tracking device injected into my neck, brainwashed, telling people that my name is Kiki Van Alsteen and assassinating foreign officials.

But instead of finding myself a weapon and going on a man-hunt, I told myself that I was crazy, and turned out the light.  And fell asleep completely petrified – like, blankets-pulled-up-to-my-chin, eyes-squeezed-shut, peeing-my-pants scared.

Can you say “avoidance”?

This morning, I forgot that I had to go to work.  I was in the middle of a dream that Taylor Swift was holding her CD release party at my old Music Row apartment, and thousands of people were lined up on the sidewalk outside my home (I was going to make them take off their shoes at the door).  My alarm kept going off, but I guess that I kept snoozing, because when the dream reached a crescendo and the other Annie had won a lunch at P.F. Changs with Taylor Swift herself, I was already a half an hour late for work.

But none of that is important.  Behold!  Today, I have a video.

Warning: I may have discovered sound effects.

I know.  Get excited.

Productivity and Boredom from Annie Parsons on Vimeo.



  1. Deborah Barnett on May 26, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    you should have been at the Sloss’s Memorial Day BBQ & Horseshoe Tournament yesterday. It was loads of fun.

    But PZC and I both agreed that you would have melted.

  2. Chet on May 26, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    Love the sound effects! Why does the tuba in the bathroom make me laugh? Parsons humor, that’s why…

    FYI – I have two pictures to match your Snow Hill picture, complete with Linwood frames.

  3. Laura on May 26, 2009 at 2:07 PM

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who hits the snooze unintentionally like that! It’s like yes, I slept in, but it wasn’t my fault… doesn’t fly with my professors :-)

  4. erin, a girl with sometimes fabulous hair on May 26, 2009 at 4:20 PM

    was this made before or after the artichoke for one? Secondarily, not even a mention. I thought i meant something AP.

  5. Emily on May 26, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    1: your skin is amazing
    2: I LOVE your shower curtain and envy your bathroom window/shelf.
    3: I don’t believe you were six when you painted that owl.

  6. Greta on May 26, 2009 at 6:37 PM

    Yes we do like romantic things like that.

    My allergies are in full force and I am SNEEZING…

    We had completely opposite weekends. Maybe we both needed a little of each other’s weekends.

    Also: I WASHED MY CAR TOO! Which hardly ever happens EITHER! We are so meant to be best friends.

  7. rachel on May 26, 2009 at 11:04 PM

    You know what I found amazing about your owl? Besides it’s awesome coloring and abstracty lines? The fact that it hoots. How cool is that??

  8. wrecklessgirl on May 27, 2009 at 12:15 AM

    not pointless at all. in fact, it was the highlight to MY day….because i spent the day alone. (albeit, a full day alone, with one brief bridge (get it? like…a bridge in a song?) anyway…with a friend. for 15 minutes). anyway, la la la, i love your orange!!! orange is the best ever. lots of things i have are orange. and blue is the opposite of orange so brava! it works.

    i think your videos are hilarious. i think you are adorable!

  9. Michelle on May 27, 2009 at 1:30 AM

    Sound effects make any video better! :) I have found this to be true as I just discovered these while crafting a cinematic masterpiece my husband and I made. About a bat we found in our house. Of course. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=14l90nbH6lo

    I don’t know if it can compare with the orange towels however.. :)

  10. annie on May 27, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    Ok, I, too, love the orange towels (one of my fave colors), and I especially LOVE the owl. I collect owls. My kids got me an earring holder for Mother’s Day that’s a tree with three owls sitting in it. Interesting, because I noticed your earring holder in that cute bathroom of yours, which holds many more pairs than mine. But mine has owls on it. And my kids picked it out for me. I totally love it. Sorry, I’m rambling.

  11. Mandy on May 27, 2009 at 3:56 PM

    So when I stopped in to read your blog today, I’ll have you know that Ariel (aka: the cutest baby alive) was squirming in my lap uncontrollably. As soon as your voice came on in your video, she sat still in a trance watching until it was over. Good job Annie. Good job.

  12. Brooke on May 27, 2009 at 7:12 PM

    Love your bathroom decor – it’s lovely!

  13. soulstirrer on May 27, 2009 at 8:09 PM

    this is really pointless but really interesting blog I have ever seen

  14. Tad on May 28, 2009 at 2:04 PM

    You really need a “Knight in Shining Armor” to go kick ass for you. Or maybe a very large dog that loves you and loves to eat dangerous people.

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