Tic-tac-toe, 5 in a row


I am always making lists.  I cannot operate with out lists.  They make me feel productive and safe.

Why “safe”?  Don’t ask me these questions.  It’s how I FEEL.  I don’t need to have a REASON.  GAWL.

[When I was a teenager, “gawl” was my biggest expression of disgust.  I said it ALL THE TIME.  My siblings will still occasionally bring it up, throwing the word at me, faces all repulsed and contorted and dramatic.  Apparently, that is how they remember me at age 14.

I couldn’t help it, though – it wasn’t easy being SUPERIOR to EVERYONE.  In the UNIVERSE.  FOREVER.  INFINITY.  GAWL.]

Anyway, I just made a list of “actors I do not trust.”  I wrote it on a Post-It note.  It says:
Tom Cruise
Nicolas Cage
Charlie Sheen

And I felt like telling you.

Now, I feel it necessary to acknowledge that I might be wasting your time these days… but then again, you’re HERE, aren’t you?  Lurking in the shadows?  Creepily reading my thoughts?  Distractedly entertained for roughly 45 seconds every day this week?

Heeeyyy-ooooooh, it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten 5 in a row!  I should take myself out for a nice steak dinner.  Congrats, self.

I’m taking my ping-ponging thoughts elsewhere before someone loses an eye.  I’ll see you on Monday.

Don’t pretend like you won’t be back.  I love you.



  1. Sarah on May 28, 2010 at 12:32 PM

    Also who to not trust:
    Jack Nicholson

    That man gives me the heeby jeebies.

  2. CarrieBeth on May 28, 2010 at 12:43 PM

    yes, i am enjoying your hilarious thoughts this week, thank you!

  3. Rebekah on May 28, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    I forever lurk. So yes, I am here.

  4. Laurissa on May 28, 2010 at 12:52 PM

    I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. I’ll be back. You’re amusing.

  5. Amanda W on May 28, 2010 at 1:00 PM

    I’m laughing out loud, by myself. That’s all I have to say about that. GAWL.

  6. Christina on May 28, 2010 at 1:18 PM

    Oh my gawl! I forgot all about that – and now this very distinct memory/image of fourteen-year-old-Annie is floating through my head. Haha.

  7. becca on May 28, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    GAWL damn i agree with your list.

  8. Riley on May 28, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    your list is impeccable. what I’m trying to figure out is why I “trust” the rest of them. I don’t even know the men… but if I needed someone to watch my bags at LAX, I would surely choose hugh grant or richard gere before joe schmo.

  9. True, but you know who I’d trust implicitly (for no other reason than his character on TV) is Tim Roth. Now that’s a rock solid reason to trust someone though, isn’t it? Just don’t tell me about any movies he played a really evil villain in. My implicit trust is fragile.

  10. Emily on May 28, 2010 at 5:59 PM

    As soon as I read the world GAWL I could imagine you saying it. At 14 and now.

    I have been so grateful for five in a row! And seriously, did you write your list of actors you don’t trust simply so you could tell us about it? Because if you did… genius!

  11. Peg on May 28, 2010 at 8:09 PM

    yes – here too…simply because you rarely fail to make me laugh Ms. Parsons. Today I really needed to laugh – so, thanks!

  12. Penny on May 28, 2010 at 9:34 PM

    Have a great weekend Annie.

  13. Heidi on June 1, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    Thank you, AP! I shudder when either of those three actors are listed in a trailor. Can we please add Cameron Diaz? Or is there a separate “actresses you don’t trust” list? And that’s right, I won’t be seeing the new movie she and Tom Cruise are starring in…togEHTER (cue dramatic music).

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