This life, this world
In the past week, a lot of life has happened.
I got two different phone calls reporting engagements, and one reporting a suicide. I had my soul fed by nourishing, true words – and I had my feelings hurt by a single thoughtless sentence. I felt pretty and then I felt ugly and then I felt altogether invisible. I clinked wine glasses with some of the most magical people I have ever met, and my heart nearly exploded with the joy of it all. I laughed until I almost fell out of my chair, and then turned around to speak quiet, quavery-voiced fears to a friend. I watched a 10-month old take a solid first two steps – and I got word that another friend’s 19-year old son, a boy I used to babysit for, was murdered.
A single painful story can be more than all of the happiness I could ever dream. This world is not a safe place, and I am at a loss for how to move through it.