Holiday hobo girl


This is the week, the one that happens every December, the one that I always tell myself that I’ll do differently next year but I never do.

It’s the week before Christmas, which always seems to be busier than the week of Christmas.  Parties, people, events, high heels, big hair, sugar, wine, beer, money that slips away like a hand full of water.  It’s the most fun, most crazy-making week.

I haven’t worked out since Sunday, which makes me feel completely deranged.  There is a pile of clothes, shoes, coats, and bras on my bed, and I just keep pushing it over to climb under the covers at night.  I haven’t been getting enough sleep.  I’ve eaten cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  My toenail polish is chipped.  I haven’t responded to emails and texts and phone calls (I probably owe you one – I’m so sorry).  My level of busyness is making me a gigantically cranky stress ball.

Tonight is our company holiday party, and last night, I pulled out the dress I was planning on wearing.  It’s wrinkled and dirty from last year.  Why do I never learn to have the dress dry-cleaned at the end of the season so it’s fresh the next year?  Now I’m going to look like a hobo.

So yes.  If you see a cranky, deranged woman in a stained satin dress wandering the streets of downtown Nashville tonight, hobbling in her high heels because of her broken toe and carrying her lipstick in a bindle instead of a purse, that’s me.

Or it’s Mindy McCready.

It’s either Mindy McCready or me.



  1. Greta on December 16, 2010 at 9:49 AM

    There’s, like, one-hour dry-cleaning places isn’t there? Maybe?

    I don’t know who Mindy McCready is, but I feel like a worn out porcupine. Is that close?

    I love you. I send you thoughts of caffeinated beverages, power walks, and vitamin-enriched veggies. Also perfect dresses. :)

  2. Carolina Linthead on December 16, 2010 at 12:28 PM

    “guys do it all the time!”

  3. Brittni on December 16, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    I stumbled across your blog by accident one day. I love it. I believe you are hilariously funny and I adore your sarcasm. Hope the hobo look is a smash.
    Grace and peace,

  4. Sarah Kate on December 17, 2010 at 9:21 AM

    I am so tired of holiday parties I could scream. Mine haven’t been as fabulous as yours though. I’ve had to bring food to 8 different places these last 2 weeks. Tonight I’m supposed to wear a Christmas shirt (no, not an ugly sweater party), and slippers, bring food, my own drinks and there are contests. Shoot. Me. Now. I wish I could be roaming the streets of Nashville in high heels and a dress – stained or not.

  5. Monica Erichsen on December 17, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    Mindy McCready. Heh heh.

    I read your post and thought, “What does she mean? It’s not the week before Christmas.” But guess what? You’re right! I don’t have weeks and weeks left to get everything done. How did that happen?

  6. Jessica on December 18, 2010 at 1:37 AM

    Lol at the last 2 lines!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Tiffany on December 23, 2010 at 11:53 PM

    As I read this post I could feel my blood pressure slowly subside. You get me.

  8. Sarah Kate on December 24, 2010 at 5:17 PM

    Oh, and by the way, I have seen Mindy McCready “out on the town” at Lonnie’s when I was in college. Stained clothing, messy hair, booze-slurred speech. Yup, that’s her!

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