All of the things I have to say


All of you over-achieving, perfectionistic control freaks out there, raise your hand.

I mean, I can’t be the only one, right?

I have a really hard time when I can’t do something perfectly, which is unfortunate because I can do basically nothing perfectly.  And lately, I’ve been doing a lot of things, which means that I’ve been confronted with imperfection all over the place.

My spiritual life is not perfect.  My diet is not perfect.  My money management is not perfect.  My exercise routine is not perfect.  My sleep habits are not perfect.  My relationships are not perfect.  My abilities are not perfect.  My heart – oh, my heart – is far, far, far from perfect.

Not a single one of my efforts is perfect.  And I really hate it.

I have so much that I want to say about this, but I can’t even write about my imperfections perfectly.  Gah.  Gahhhhhhhhhh.

– – – – – – – –

This was my bed last night.

I stared at it, and wished that it would just fix itself, but it didn’t, so I just moved my computer and slid underneath it all and went to sleep.

– – – – – – – –

Now it’s the morning.  All of the stuff is still here on top of me.

– – – – – – – –

On Sunday, I was on a walk, and I walked past a realtor hosting an open house.  I wound up going in, just because I’m nosy and take any opportunity to snoop where I wouldn’t otherwise wouldn’t be able to.

I didn’t expect to fall in love with this house, but I did.  Like, deep, soulful love.  Like, I was mentally arranging my furniture.  Like, I was imagining backyard parties and the perfect hutch for the dining room.  Like, the combination of the hardwood floors and the interior brick walls and the incredible range in the kitchen was lethal to my Dave Ramsey-loving self, and all of a sudden, I was trying to figure out how to pull together $389,000 before nightfall.

Then I just walked back to the Hooker House.

– – – – – – – –

Starting tomorrow, I get to do something really cool.  I get to fly to Sundance Film Festival and call it “my job.”

You know I’ll report back on any celeb-encounters.



  1. Emily on January 18, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    I’m discovering more and more that I have to raise my hand. It always catches me off guard when I realize how much I aspire for perfection.

    I REALLY wish you could have that house.

    And I REALLY like the pillows on your bed.

  2. Beth on January 18, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    I just read this in my Bible study after reading your post: “God Himself, the God of peace (not tension and strain), will do the work of sanctification in those who look trustingly to Him. Paul trusted in the faithfulness of God, who called them, to complete His work in them. He who begins the work will finish it. God is perfect, and when He begins a task, He completes it (Philippians 1:6). God works in us the desire to perform HIs will and the power to do it (Philippians 2:13). We merely work out what He has worked in.” (BSF study notes). I like this: God is the original Perfectionist- for glory :) That’s why we’re such a beautiful mess: His glory mixing with us, making us perfect in Him. Of course there will be collisions of imperfection- He is working in us. We can embrace our imperfections, because the Perfect One is working HIs perfection in us over the long span of time. He is doing the work, and we rest in the leaning in. Agghhhh… I’m such a “precisionist” [I like that word better] at times too :), but man, I fall short. Christ in us: the hope of glory :)

  3. Christina on January 18, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    Hand raised!

    Have so much “working” in Utah. That is so so cool, please report back. Love you!

  4. Whitney on January 18, 2012 at 1:02 PM makes messes look cuter, so there’s that.

    And, oh how I hear you. I have been having deep, deep soul talks about this – mostly with myself lately.

  5. kendall on January 19, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    Since you are going to be Park City, make sure to connect with Dick Staub as he will be doing a show or four broadcasting from there for Kindlings…:)

  6. [not the] Best Blog Ever on January 19, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    Post a link to the house you visited! I wanna see! I have a hobby of visiting open houses, too… So fun!

  7. Penny on January 20, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    Hmm….Annie, it sounds to me like you are human!!!! OH my niece is going to Sundance as well. Have fun.

  8. Carin on January 22, 2012 at 8:36 PM

    Hope you are hanging with Jake right now – even if. ;)

  9. Tad on January 25, 2012 at 3:57 PM

    I’ll own up to being a perfectionist. This Sunday I went bowling with some friends and found myself getting more and more frustrated with my performance, even though I was bowling with a ball that was too heavy, a broken ring finger and hadn’t had any beer (beer is required for good bowling scores). I might be too competitive.

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