Bad

–    “When You Wish Upon a Star” –    Geppetto’s wish that a puppet would become a real boy.  What? –    Creepy Blue Fairy –    Cricket as conscience –    “Give a Little Whistle” –    Honest John (wicked fox).  MISLEADING. –    Figaro (pet cat, unclothed, walks on all-4’s), and Gideon (mute cat, clothed, walks like a human). …

I am blogging to say that I cannot blog today. I am too busy dead-bolting the office doors to keep the press away, abandoning my front-lines lobby perch, and hunkering down in the back at a desk with a spectacular view. Yes, seriously. It’s been very exciting – in an “I might vomit” kind of…

Bad: It is Monday. Good: It is a holiday, and GRETA IS HERE! Bad: My car got towed on Friday night. Good: I didn’t really feel upset about it. Bad: Probably because it’s already been STOLEN three times. Good: We got it back. Bad: It cost a lot of money. Good: I had enough money…

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was WITH me yesterday? Maybe you could tell from the blog, maybe not – but I seriously lost my mind for a few hours in the afternoon. Upon further introspection, I blame it on the fact that my life is completely out of balance. I spend 8-9 hours each day in…

Our bodies don’t always do what we want them to. This is terrifying. For as long as I can recall, I have carried tension and stress in my neck and shoulders. I remember being 6-years old and going to see a chiropractor – I was complaining about back pain in kindergarten. As I’ve gotten older…

We need to stop using plastic bags. Now, before you start thinking that I’m a damn “hippie liberal from Seattle” (as I was recently called), let me just say that – as much as I wish it wasn’t true – I am not what you might call an “environmentally conscious” person. I don’t have a…

Things I have seen on my porch in the past week: A spider A cicada A cockroach A lizard A possum A possum. A POSSUM. On my front step, I kid you not. I was approaching my door after dark, and there it was, in the glow of the porch light, just sitting there waiting…

I overslept. Again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but for as long as I have been setting an alarm clock, come morning, I do not hear it. I mean, I must hear it at some level of consciousness, because I hit the snooze button. Excuse me, the “SNOOZ” button. Why do alarm clocks…

This cannot be good.

If you believe that I have already covered the topic of the Nashville heat to satisfaction, that I have fulfilled my word quota on the subject, that I couldn’t possibly have more to say about living in the never-ending doldrums of sultry torment… THINK AGAIN. There is no insulation in the walls of my home,…