Bizarre

When I moved to Minneapolis on July 3rd, if you would have told me that I wouldn’t leave again for 84 days, I would have keeled over dead. In the last five years, I’ve gotten used to the pattern of skipping town roughly every other week: some business, some weddings, a lot of adventures. My…

Anyone who knows me knows that a professional publication would be an unlikely place to find me. I wear yoga pants to work. I tell my manager about my feelings. I’ve never had a career path or a 5-year plan. My degree is in music, for crying out loud. But somehow (you know how), I…

Here’s a text I got last week. Seems… sensitive.

I am spending the weekend in Boston with my dear friend Christina. Boston is one of my favorite cities, and Christina is one of my favorite friends, so in other words, everything is wonderful. Before I boarded my flight on Thursday, I got an email from Christina saying, “Hope your flight leaves on time and…

So there I was, minding my own business, when I heard a ruckus.  I walked out of the office to find Gabe darting from the kitchen to the living room – never a good sign. I walked into the kitchen and found… this: Oh, how’s that? you ask?  Here, let me give you a better…

Hello?   (Helloooo?)   ((Helloooooooo?)) Is anyone still here? If you’re wondering if the iPhone swallowed me, the answer is NO COMMENT. I spent the weekend in my hometown of Montrose, Colorado.  I went over for a dentist appointment, since Dan Clader, D.D.S., is my longest term relationship to date (22 years).  After last summer’s debacle…

Guess who’s here? GRETA! Last night, we were walking around Wash Park, and looked to our right to see… a roof-top band! They noticed us taking their picture, and yelled for us to come up. Yes.  They yelled for us to let ourselves in through the front door, go down the hall to the staircase,…

The weirdest thing has been happening lately. I have been overcome with this gigantic, humongous desire to go to California. Since when have I craved California?  And not just California – but SOUTHERN California?  This is so unlike me.  I don’t even know who I am anymore. Other things have been changing, too.  There is…

Before Sunday night, I didn’t know who Lady Gaga was. I know.  I KNOW.  I am the least cool person in the universe.  You, reading my words right now?  I’M NOT WORTHY. I had heard of her, but it was sort of like my knowledge of Google Wave.  OH!  I know that! What is it? …

For the past several years, Thanksgiving has been the occasion of the Parsons’ Family Christmas Picture.  We usually get some great outtakes – but never so amazing as this. Does anyone know what’s happening here?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Because I have no recollection of this moment. But clearly, Swayze was wrong: SOMEBODY puts Baby in a…