Creepy

When I was a kid, my parents never told me that Santa was real. Quite the opposite, in fact: I was always explicitly told that Santa Claus is NOT real. That guy at the mall? Just a man in a costume — and no, you can’t go sit on his lap. After all, Jesus is…

Yesterday, my co-worker Molly got a text from an unknown number that said, “I know where you live.” I have no patience for creepy shenanigans like that, so I had her give me the phone number.  A quick bit of internet/phone sleuthing later, and I discovered the anonymous texter’s identity – a pre-adolescent boy in…

Last night, I had a horrific nightmare that I walked into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror – and my lips had a hard extra layer on them, almost black, like an avocado rind.  I had to peel them off – two big lip-shaped pieces – to get back to…

Things I have seen on my porch in the past week: A spider A cicada A cockroach A lizard A possum A possum. A POSSUM. On my front step, I kid you not. I was approaching my door after dark, and there it was, in the glow of the porch light, just sitting there waiting…

Lunesta: A gigantic glowing moth flies through your open bedroom window and hovers over your face, its gently-beating wings sprinkling sparkly, magical moth-dust and lulling you into a peaceful slumber. “A great tomorrow starts tonight.” Rozerem: During a sleepless night, you wander out to find Abraham Lincoln and a fork-wielding beaver sitting at your kitchen…