Terrible

The morning after

In an effort to distract myself from the early polls, last night I watched “Believe,” a 2013 documentary about Justin Bieber. Before you deem this an unpatriotic use of my time on the evening of an unprecedented election, remember that based on Trump’s non-existent qualifications, Bieber has a shot at being president someday too. Given…

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The stuff of horror films

This time last year, I was seeing ants in my kitchen. I eventually discovered that they had raided my sugar bag, so I threw it out, and from that point on, I’ve kept my sugar in the freezer – and thus, an ant-free kitchen. But a few weeks ago, I saw an ant. And you…

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The saddest day

I know.  You have been nervously refreshing the page every moment since last Friday, awaiting an update as to the Honda’s fate. Well, people, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I’m alive. The bad news is that if oil were blood, my engine would be the beaches of Normandy.…

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Have I mentioned my state of physical woe?

Last Thursday morning, I was in a car accident.  Don’t worry – the Honda’s fine – or, at least she will be after the other guy’s insurance pays for a new $750 bumper.  Do you know what this means?  I am losing my bumper stickers.  All of them.  No more “FRESH BEER.”  No more “VIVA…

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I AM ONE GIANT STRESS BALL.

I am flying to Nashville tonight, and am the world’s worst packer.  No, really.  War is to mankind as Annie is to packing.  I ruin everything.  I pack too little, or too much, or all the wrong shoes. Speaking of shoes, I bought a yellow dress to wear to Brook & Cara’s wedding this weekend,…

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Annie Parsons: Ex-Con

Although I watched the opening ceremonies of the Olympics last week, I have yet to watch an actual Olympic.  However, I must say that I’m liking Shaun White these days.  I don’t know why – I never paid him any attention before.  But isn’t he so likable?  His big smile and happy heart? Don’t you…

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Musicless

I am spoiled, and I am the first to admit it.  Why, you ask?  Well, among many other reasons, I have two identical black Macbooks – one personal, and one for work.  Let’s be real: that is just ridiculous.  More than anyone could ever ask for. But last week, my personal Macbook went kaput.  It’s…

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