Words

I am always making lists.  I cannot operate with out lists.  They make me feel productive and safe. Why “safe”?  Don’t ask me these questions.  It’s how I FEEL.  I don’t need to have a REASON.  GAWL. [When I was a teenager, “gawl” was my biggest expression of disgust.  I said it ALL THE TIME. …

The kindest thing that anyone could ever do for me would be to do my taxes*. As of this weekend, that makes my dad the nicest person on the planet. But here’s a word to the wise, my friends: do not just assume that you are going to get a tax refund, and then go…

Yesterday morning, I woke up wishing to think of a word that contained all 5 vowels.  “To me,” I thought, “that would feel like winning the lottery.” I never claimed to be cool, people. A few hours later, when Greta was driving me to the airport, we were behind a Toyota Sequoia. SEQUOIA.  Boom: jackpot….

I am on vacation in Seattle, and my heart is so happy I could cry. Last night, as Greta and I were settling in to go to sleep, she asked if she should wake me up in the morning.  In a moment of Shakespearean inspiration, what I meant to say was, “I’m sure I will…

When this life, this world, this Whole Thing is all over, and we have the chance to look back on the story that was our life, I honestly believe that we won’t experience it as a narrative, but that we will hear it as a song – the most beautiful, sad, triumphant song ever written,…

My friend Zach moved from Seattle to Nashville this week; it’s great to have him here. We hadn’t seen each other in almost 3 years until he arrived on my doorstep on Monday night.  As I made dinner and we caught up, he told me that since the last time we saw each other, I’ve…

But if you are using Internet Explorer and you CAN read this, then please disregard – the problem must be fixed?  In any case, down with IE. Let me tell you about a couple of great things that have happened.  Warning: this post has no unifying thread aside from my two hands, my ten fingers,…

You can guess who said what. – – – – – – – – I will never, ever understand why God thought insects were a good idea.  I mean, they rhyme with “in sex.”  Which makes no sense. It turns out beat boxing is kind of super cool and attractive. Isn’t it strange that “obvious”…

A few months ago, PZC taught me about auto antonyms – although I think that I prefer their less-popular name, contronyms.  Any non-word-lovers out there can just call them self-contradictions (but I will judge you). What is an auto antonym?  It’s a word that can mean the opposite of itself. IMPOSSIBLE, you say. NOT WITH…

Sometimes, I need help.  But I don’t like to admit it.  And if there is anything that I hate, it is feeling indebted to those around me – or, worst of all, a burden.  I value independence and cleverness and resourcefulness.  I like being in everyone’s good graces, and will do anything to make sure…