News to me

Written by hootenannie on December 7th, 2009

I don’t watch the news anymore – ever.  I don’t have time in the morning, I don’t have time at night, and so I just don’t do it.  I mean, I hear things – but I don’t know the stories.  I catch snippets – but don’t know the details.

Currently, I have no idea what the deal with Tiger Woods is – that is, I know that he got in a car crash and then that somehow translated to him being accused of being a total sleazoid, but…  Wait.  Is that the whole story?  That might be the whole story.

Amanda Knox got 26 years in an Italian prison – but honestly, I only learned that because I ran across a picture of her online and liked her jacket.

I have no idea why the blonde Obama Crasher was wearing a sari.

I am embarrassingly out of touch.

Which is why I was shocked to recognize a Zhu Zhu hamster in the hand of a small child yesterday as the one that has recently been recalled.  This little toddler was walking around Marché with – yes! – the light brown version!  Gripped in his grubby little hand!  His parents were calmly eating their eggs, oblivious to the fact that their child was CLUTCHING POISON.  I had a flash of me jumping to my feet, knocking over tables, running in slow motion with my face contorted into that warped “NOOOOOOOO,” with outstretched hands to knock the infected rodent away.

But his parents looked kind of mean.  So I didn’t do anything.

And it’s too bad – if I had, I bet I could have made the news.

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