The Cycle


Stage 1: SHOCK

Stage 2: DENIAL
That did not just happen. No. It did not. [plugs ears] La la la la la – I can’t hear you. This is not real.

Stage 3: ANGER
[furrows brow] Stupid man. Stupid man in his house. He should clean up this sidewalk – yeah, that’s right, get out his LEAF BLOWER and earn his keep. I loathe this tree. How dare it drop it’s leaves on my path? And the imbecile who thought up concrete? For sidewalks? I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM. Who invented Seattle, anyway? This is all his fault.

Stage 4: DESPAIR
[lower lip sticks out in a pout] This sucks. This totally sucks. Everyone saw, and I am such a loser. I will NEVER be cool. And the sludge? All over everything? My life is in shambles.

And I’ll probably never have a boyfriend, either.

Yes. I just slipped on the sidewalk, doing nothing but walking and breathing air. My entire body fell to the ground. That car full of people saw… and that one, too. I quickly stood up, looking around like nothing had happened, but the mud splatter up my leg is a dead giveaway. It’s okay. Things like this happen. Thank God for washing machines and anonymity.

– – – – – – – –

Welcome to Seattle, where the mosaic of wet autumn leaves has slicked the sidewalk, making a simple path impassable. I suppose that the winsome days of fall have their price – unfortunately, my sweats and self-esteem were this morning’s casualties.

Being back here in Seattle is wonderful and serene. But I am happy to report that my sadness at no longer living in Seattle is outweighed by my absolute excitement to move to Nashville.

I am on the right path. Even when it’s covered in slippery, wet leaves.



  1. Beth on October 25, 2007 at 1:39 PM

    Awesome! Keep on keepin’ on, and keep following your dream (as cliche as that sounds – but sometimes we still need to hear it!).

  2. bec on October 25, 2007 at 2:01 PM

    just do what you did last time that happened when you fell by altrusa park in a giant puddle!

    walk backwards, so the mud stain is hidden from every passing car.

  3. MJ on October 25, 2007 at 3:20 PM

    oh man, the part about the “and I’ll probably never have a boyfriend” under step 4? GENIUS.
    This time I was the one laughing out loud. How aptly you capture the complexities of a woman’s soul. :)

  4. Greta on October 25, 2007 at 4:30 PM

    Stupid Chief Seattle.

  5. Miranda on October 26, 2007 at 9:26 AM

    Amen! Nashville has no idea what’s comin.

  6. Jeremy Parsons on October 27, 2007 at 6:06 AM

    I just wanted to point out a very important fact. Annie, you have just crossed into “blog immortality” because you have over 1,000 views on your profile.

    I am so proud.

    Keep slipping and going through the 5 steps. Who knows where you could end up!!??


    I am blown away.

  7. shannon on October 27, 2007 at 12:23 PM

    i love it annie. you should watch ellen degeneres: here and now, there is a whole segment on tripping and how to disguise it; it’s hilarious :)

  8. Sarah on October 27, 2007 at 3:26 PM

    You are so positive – wonderful :).

    I was walking toward a couple of guys, in Corvallis. I had just given them a big smile and I went to cross the street and completely wiped out on the ice. My pride was more bruised than anything, but even from my vantage point on the ground, it looked painful.

  9. Scotty T on October 30, 2007 at 1:30 AM

    I have experienced only the physical pain you are here describing. Perhaps you have enlightened to me the single positive of running at 6am- no one will see me fall like an idiot into a puddle that I could not see due to darkness/my eyes not being open while dreaming of being somewhere light and warm. I don’t even know whether to be happy or sad.

Leave a Comment