Leaning into the unknown


I think that God gives us a lot of freedom to choose our own path in life. When it comes to the everyday decisions, I don’t believe that there are too many hard-and-fast absolute “rights” and “wrongs.” Should I ask that person out? Which car should I buy? Paper or plastic? God is big enough to handle whatever it is that we may decide, and use it for his good. After all, we have a God who is in the business of bringing life out of death.

However, I do believe that there are certain times where we are given a choice, and the outcome is of serious importance. There’s a fork in the road, and which path one chooses will direly affect that which is important in one’s life.

Today, I faced that decision.

I got hired. I worked 4 days. And today, for some serious reasons, I quit.

Then, I signed the lease on an apartment.

Backwards, huh? AM I INSANE? Cutting off my already-meager source of income, and then throwing every penny that I have at an apartment, simply because I feel deep down in my spirit that this is somehow going to work out? That this is the right path? That this is good?

I have always been one who makes decisions intuitively. Last night was spent in a relative panic about my situation: knowing that this job was not the job that I needed to be in, knowing that this apartment was where I wanted to live, knowing that Nashville is a place that I makes me come alive, despite the brick walls I have faced at every turn. It was a real soul-searching time of asking the question, “Should I even be here? Should I move back in with my parents in Kansas City? Am I crazy to have given up my amazing life in Seattle?” I prayed that God would give me the right answer, that he would appear in a pillar of fire or a cloud in the sky. I prayed. I asked. I waited.

No answer.

I cried myself to sleep, feeling alone and afraid.

And when I woke up this morning, before I could rationalize or be tugged back and forth by my emotions, I had the strong assurance of what I needed to do. “Quit your job. Sign the lease.” So I did. With great terror, but strong conviction, I did.

I am holding fast to the assurance that I will always have what I need when I need it. I am actively searching for employment. I am watching for the ways that God will provide, and listening for his whisper. And I am praising God that after 6 months in boxes, I AM NO LONGER HOMELESS!!!!!


People! I am now accepting visitors!


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  1. Greta on February 5, 2008 at 5:42 PM


    Go Annie, go!

  2. Beth on February 5, 2008 at 6:13 PM

    Awesome post! I love your ability to be vulnerable and funny at the same time. :)

    Looking forward to hearing “the rest of the story”… (just call me Paul Harvey)

    p.s. It will work out! It always does.

  3. MarijkeJane on February 5, 2008 at 6:21 PM

    so what’s your new address?
    I’m gonna send you something…

  4. kristy on February 5, 2008 at 6:25 PM

    wow, i’ve found myself in a similar position, it’s terrifying, especially when everyone you know is telling you to play it safe. you’re a courageous girl, and things have a way of working themselves out. i left california in hopes that life in oregon would accept me, allow me to prosper. i was alone and scared. when i made the leap in my business to work hard, trust god….within a few weeks of not having support from my ex husband, i was making more than i needed to survive, including paying rent on my own, all bills, with money to spare. i have god-trust issues. i still can’t believe it: every month, i’m OKAY. and at any point, when i’m not, it works out somehow.

  5. Jack Ensor on February 5, 2008 at 7:37 PM

    Oh, you’re crazy. I’ve know that for a long time.

    Thanks for your message the other day. It made me feel better.

  6. Laura on February 5, 2008 at 7:52 PM

    Okay first: I definitely want to visit. Second: Whole Foods is now making the paper/plastic decision a little easier. From now on, it’s only paper, baby.

  7. Anonymous on February 5, 2008 at 8:41 PM

    so far, it sounds as if you are doing everything RIGHT.
    1.) Have a bad job – quit
    2.) Find a great apartment – get it
    3.) Want guidance – pray
    … over all, you are doing EXACTLY what you need to be doing! It ALWAYS works out Annie.
    Love you.

  8. graham r on February 5, 2008 at 9:38 PM

    ‘quit your job. sign the lease.’

    i love it. beautiful!

  9. Sally on February 5, 2008 at 10:24 PM

    I’m with graham r on this one. I once met a man that said God never removes the faith factor… it is always there.

    Also, it was funny… one day I was clicking on links to other people’s blogs from your blog and one of your friends (Jack) knows Geoff Baron (a guy I knew in New Zealand.) Small world.

  10. My name is Annie. on February 5, 2008 at 10:35 PM

    Oh, I love you people that read my blog! :) And I read your blogs, too. Blogging has enriched my life.

    Kristy, I don’t know all of the details, but I love your story. It’s inspiring to me. (and people, check out Kristy’s site – beautiful!)

    Laura, I’m obsessed with Whole Foods. I applied for a job there last night. :)

    Sally, this IS a small world! The internet is insane. Jack, are you seeing this? Meet Sally.

  11. bec on February 5, 2008 at 11:26 PM

    “Blogging has enriched my life.”

    Care to expand?

  12. Nicolas Frisby on February 5, 2008 at 11:45 PM

    I am panicking.

  13. Sarah on February 6, 2008 at 12:05 AM

    walking in faith. so good. and i’m excited to see what He has in store for you!

  14. rachel rianne on February 6, 2008 at 9:13 AM

    you’re insane!
    i love it.

    uhh and is the starbucks by your parents house really closed?
    the world gets better sometimes,
    we just have to recognize it.
    go local business.

  15. Christina on February 6, 2008 at 12:15 PM

    You welcomed visitors. So I bought (err, cashed in on) a plane ticket. Be careful what you wish for ;)

  16. Shannon on February 6, 2008 at 5:15 PM

    thought you may like this quote, it sounds like you. way to live into breathless expectation :)

    “To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways; we do not know what a day may bring forth. This is generally said with a sigh of sadness; it should rather be an expression of breathless expectation.” -Oswald Chambers

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