Ode to the boy who works at Whole Foods Market


I’m in the grocery store of dreams
No less than once a week
To sample cheese and hummus dips
And try to sneak a peek
At you, the tall and scruffy boy
Who works the checkout lines;
You scan the produce and the bread
But sadly, not the wine
(For Tennessee is far too strict
Regarding grocery sales:
No wine or liquor on the shelves,
But only Pumpkin Ales).
You’re cute and quiet, have good shoes,
And always wear a smile,
I wait in your line even if
It’s backed up for a mile.

The end.


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  1. Tad on November 21, 2008 at 2:42 PM

    Is Halpert working at Whole Foods now?

  2. Ali on November 21, 2008 at 8:16 PM

    Too darn cute – I love this!
    Oh, and the word verification is “brain” – I think that says something about this lovely poem!

  3. Anonymous on November 22, 2008 at 9:52 AM

    So now you’re back to “boys”?

  4. annie on November 22, 2008 at 12:43 PM


  5. almost thirty, flirty, and thriving on November 22, 2008 at 4:50 PM

    OH. MY. GOSH. i’m in love with you.

  6. Lyla on November 22, 2008 at 8:33 PM


    This reminds me of the section in Seattle Weekly called “Missed Connections.” I know, by Seattle standards, I’m a lameo for having read the Weekly when the cool kids all read The Stranger. Don’t worry, I read the Stanger, too.

    Anywho, it makes me wonder if he has an add somewhere that says, “I saw you in the Whole Foods. You were wearing blah blah blah and we talked about this, that, and the other.”

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