R is for Rest


This weekend, I was overwhelmed with a wave of… I don’t know. Shame? Guilt? Regret? I was knocked off my feet a few days ago, and since then, it’s been a deluge of memories and hauntings and disappointments.

I don’t know why I was created the way that I was – wired to both express and share, even at the risk of rejection or judgment. A few people who are close to me have recently suggested that maybe I should be different. Maybe I shouldn’t share so much. Maybe I should present a different picture to those around me. Maybe I should keep a lid on the truth.

But I just don’t know how.

Throughout my life, I’ve struggled with trying to make people like me, to be something good, to convince others that I’m someone worth knowing – whether it be through acting a certain way, or looking a certain way, or doing something noteworthy, or being associated with All Things Awesome. We all want to be liked, right? But ultimately, it comes back to the fact that I just am who I am. It didn’t change when I moved 2,500 miles away. And no amount of finagling or maneuvering or tweaking of the Annie Parsons Package is going to change who I am – who I was created to be.

The people that I like the most are at rest with who they are. Contented, humble spirits. Quiet, unassuming souls who love easily. I want to be one of those people.

So. Stomping down insecurity. Being exactly who I am, and trusting that “Annie” is the best thing I could possibly be. Humbling myself. Praying for the grace to stand in truth, acceptance, and hope. And knowing that my ability to love others will be a direct overflow of the love and care lavished on me by a God who is always faithful. He’s ready and waiting to transform my heart, heal the things that I’m afraid are beyond healing, and give me rest.



  1. Kyla Joy on November 24, 2008 at 11:54 AM

    I really like the post that you linked to. I read it last week and it reminded me of what I’ve come to learn the last few years as well. “Where you go, there you are”. Yes, just keep being you and rest in that. It’s a good thing that God created you just as you are. Imperfections and all, you are loved!
    By the way, more than once this weekend I thought “why did I go and say that? why didn’t I just stop at sentence 3 in the conversation?” My big mouth just goes and goes sometimes.
    Speaking of this weekend, loved hanging out with you. Can’t wait for more Annie time.

  2. Emily on November 24, 2008 at 2:02 PM

    Contentment takes work doesn’t it? Why is that? It takes energy and commitment to “take every thought captive” and live peacefully when our emotions and our world want to react in… anger, frustration, sorrow… whatever.

    You have chosen a good road, a difficult one, but one that winds its way toward rest, peace, satisfaction and trust in a God that is so much bigger and stronger than you. Keep walking that road my friend.

    Thank you for sharing the journey with us.

  3. Tad on November 24, 2008 at 2:52 PM

    I really like that you are so willing to share. It makes you genuine. If people spent less time putting up fronts and being “selectivly honest”, our relationships would be quicker to reach a deeper and more authentic level. Relationships with others are the most lifegiving when we are open and not posing. Obviousely we can’t share everything with everyone. That would be unwise and unsafe these days. But I think your willingness to be open is one of the things that I like best about you. That and your incredibly clever ways of articulating what you share. You are a facinating person and I’m glad you don’t wall off.

  4. Deborah Barnett on November 24, 2008 at 3:52 PM

    I think there is wisdom in having a filter, but value in voicing truth. Filters should slip into place if there is a chance of dishonoring someone, bringing someone shame or if a mere lack of kindness might occur. But honesty is rare… yet deeply coveted, when expressing one's hopes, dreams, insecurities, faults and frailties.

    You my friend, pave a way for honesty & vulnerability. Opening a door for others to bare their souls and call upon one another for the beauty of what's called community. A deep need to know and be known. In the truest sense.

    Please. Do not squelch this gift. Hone it. Define it. Bring it to its best self. But please do not bury it for fear of impending criticism.

    Be strong and courageous.

    As I know you are…

  5. Grant on November 24, 2008 at 4:17 PM

    Matthew 25:14-30 (the parable of the men given the talents and using them wisely)

    This blog made me think of this parable, because God has given you gifts and it is up to you to use them. The funny thing is we often don’t even know what those gifts are because we let our own condemnation and judgment of ourselves get int he way, or we let others discourage us from using them. It is important to not only speak truth to others, but learn to speak truth to ourselves so we know what our true gifts are.

    Keep telling the truth to others,and keep working on discovering the truth of who you were created to be, and then go and live into those gifts.

  6. wrecklessgirl on November 26, 2008 at 12:35 AM

    just sat down and played “i love you just the way you are!” on the piano, followed by, “i don’t know much…but i know i love you…”

    you get the idea. :)

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