Oh, for the LUV

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I’ll just cut to the chase: Southwest Airlines lost my luggage this weekend.

[insert me telling you how this sent me for a minor emotional tailspin, and how I was sick as a dog, and almost broke down and gave up, but soldiered on – for the children, really, and for America]

Flying from Nashville to Austin on Friday night, I was exhausted.  I was getting sick – and I had no Kleenex.  So on the plane, to my horror and shame, I had no choice but to use my sleeve to wipe my insanely runny nose.  Multiple times.

Southwest offered to reimburse me for $50 worth of necessities until they found my bags – which, when you are in town for a wedding, and all you have is the mucus-crusted cardigan on your back, won’t get you very far.  But I appreciated the gesture, and went to Target to max out on the necessary toiletries, medications, and two pairs of underwear.

Why two pairs?  Because I wasn’t sure what kind of a dress I would wind up wearing, and any woman can tell you that different dresses call for different undergarments.  Just… I just needed both pairs, okay?  Always be prepared.

I found a dress and shoes at TJ Maxx, took a hot shower, my meds kicked in, and a great time was had by all at Joey and Sam’s fabulous wedding.  All’s well that ends well, right?

Not so fast, sparky.

Southwest decided to itemize my Target receipt, saying that they weren’t sure that all of these things were truly “necessary” to my survival without my luggage.  Things that made the cut, no questions asked?  Cosmetics.  Medicine.  Eyedrops.  Tampons.  Thanks, guys, for deeming tampons “necessary.”  You are too kind.

The complication?  The underwear.

Apparently, because the luggage was returned within 24 hours, only one of the pairs was considered “necessary.”  And so there at the Southwest counter, I was asked to indicate which pair I wore that day – bikini or thong.  Multiple times, I was asked out loud, “Which pair did you need today?  The bikini or the thong?”

You will never know.

But Southwest does.

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29 Comments

  1. The Bug on March 22, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    That’s hilarious! I think we need to see a picture of you in the dress so we can guess. Heh.

  2. Hope on March 22, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    my jaw dropped. unreal.

  3. Chelsea on March 22, 2010 at 8:54 AM

    i am stunned annie. absolutely stunned by this story. (and still quietly cracking up a little in my cube…)

  4. Christina on March 22, 2010 at 8:55 AM

    Really, Southwest? REALLY!? You screw up, then can’t shell out an additional $7 (or whatever) to save a woman her dignity? Reeeeally?!?!

  5. hootenannie on March 22, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    I know. Sigh. I know.

    The weirdest part? My loyalty to Southwest is unwavering. I will never fly anything but.

    Unflappable.

  6. K.C. on March 22, 2010 at 9:21 AM

    So…was it a guy at the counter?

  7. Tim on March 22, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    Hilarious… and terrible. I’m sorry.

  8. Mary on March 22, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    UNbelievabl(y hilarious).

  9. Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams on March 22, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    Wow. Just…wow.

    So nice to finally hang out with you and hug you this weekend. We must do it again.

  10. rachel on March 22, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    if the sw employee you had to talk to was a guy, i just hope that you end up marrying him. …it’s the PERFECT love story.

  11. Tad on March 22, 2010 at 11:31 AM

    What an ordeal! But the way you tell the story, it hilarious. I’m so glad you can look back on it with a sence of humor.

  12. Whitney on March 22, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    There are no words. I can only imagine. The good news, if they ever make a movie out of your life, what a great scene this will be.

  13. becca on March 22, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    i hope you told them the more expensive of the two.

  14. Mom on March 22, 2010 at 3:35 PM

    you could argue that if tampons are considered a necessity, then 2 pair of underwear in 24 hours is also a necessity. need I say more?
    mom

  15. hootenannie on March 22, 2010 at 3:36 PM

    MOM.

  16. Carin on March 22, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    *spits out diet coke*
    OMG, thank you. I needed that.
    Love you…

  17. katherine m on March 22, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    Bahahaha! You and Mama Parsons are too funny.
    And this is a great story.

  18. becca on March 22, 2010 at 4:53 PM

    MOM! HAHAHAAAAA

  19. Alissa on March 22, 2010 at 6:37 PM

    Okay, I have returned 4 times today to re-read the story – it’s THAT funny. Would love to hear this told from the perspective of the guy/gal behind the counter…

  20. Juliette on March 22, 2010 at 9:35 PM

    AP how in the WORLD do these things happen to you. HOW?! I’m really kind of jealous– and as a writer, I think you should thank God for these fabulously embarrassing moments. Please never stop sharing them!!! :) Love you!

  21. rachel on March 22, 2010 at 9:43 PM

    bahahahaha!!! Oh that is just terrible and hilarious and awful and awesome. And your mom’s comment just ups the ante.

    By the way … I was looking at your FB pics and you definitely rock out the dresses. I’m a little jealous, not gonna lie :-)

  22. Brent on March 23, 2010 at 1:26 AM

    this is what movies are made of. This story is crying out for a scene with Jennifer Aniston or sarah jessica parker or some other actress you usually see in movies involving weddings and being flustered and shining it on.

    All that to say… hilarious…

  23. Kate McDonald on March 23, 2010 at 5:40 AM

    Laughed out loud…for awhile and then read it again.. still laughing….

  24. Matt on March 23, 2010 at 8:30 AM

    Oh my goodness Annie! I laughed crazy hard while reading and rereading this. Had to share it with Meaghan too! Love it!

  25. Laura on March 23, 2010 at 5:51 PM

    Poor Annie!!! But what a great story you have to tell now!

  26. SarahKate on March 24, 2010 at 10:51 AM

    So they paid for the entire box of tampons but only one pair of underwear? Did they assume that you needed the entire box for 24 hours? I see inconsistencies in their policy.

  27. Grace Givenz on March 25, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    Too Funny!!!

  28. annie on March 25, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    WOW. That is an amazing story. Should have been written as a Seinfeld episode or something… I cannot believe that happened in real life! (Thanks for sharing it, though.)

  29. hootenannie » Blog Archive » Flashed on October 13, 2010 at 8:18 AM

    […] thought.  Because who likes to talk to strangers about their undergarments – I mean, besides Southwest Airlines, and Annie Parsons on her […]

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