Trying for triceps


I have negative triceps. There’s, like, nothing there. If my arms were outerspace, there would be a black hole where my triceps are supposed to be.

Haha, PHYSICS JOKE!!! Science is sooooo funny.

I am 3 1/2 years older than my sister Becca, so when I was 15 and basically the same size I am now (massive), she was 11 and scrawny. She is still incredibly skinny – she turns sideways and disappears, just like Olive Oyl – and can wear clothes that the cool kids wear (skinny jeans, tiny dresses with leggings underneath, various Forever 21 garb), while I and my thighs are banished to more frumpy sensible attire.

I am not bitter. Then again, here is a picture of me as a child:


I have always had those thighs and a scowl.

Anyway, the point of all of this is that when I was a full-grown 15-year old and Becca was her scraggly 11-year old self, she could beat me in arm wresting.

I have never had any upper-body strength. But I want that to change, because what if one day, I find myself dangling off a canyon edge? A single pull-up could save my life. And if that’s the case, it’s time to take action.

Take action to get action. That’s always been my motto.

Several times each week, I see the King of the Weight Room at the gym. You know exactly who I’m talking about: Stallone in “Cliffhanger.” The man who is bursting out of his muscle shirt. The guy whose neck is just a direct path from his ear to his collarbone.

This man is to triceps as Hunter Lane is to quads.

In other words, I have found my new trainer.

He just doesn’t know it.




  1. Emily on March 29, 2010 at 9:19 AM

    Lucky him!

    Also, I laughed SO hard at your “PHYSICS JOKE!!! Science is sooooo funny.” Because my dad is always making physics jokes and thinking they are really funny.

    Anyway, I enjoyed it.

    I also think that picture of you is hilarious.

  2. Kelley on March 29, 2010 at 9:54 AM

    if ADORING YOU is wrong… I don’t wanna be right.

    Can’t wait to see your “tri”s up close in person in ONE MONTH.

    also, that article about Hunter is just magic.


  3. AnnieBlogs on March 29, 2010 at 10:08 AM

    If there is one thing I have learned from you (there are many), it’s this mantra:

    “Take action to get action.”

    And I live by it. Day in and day out.

    At least the “take action” part.


  4. wrecklessgirl on March 29, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    i’ve been loving my weights i just bought because i never have enough $$$ or a gym membership. on that note, i realize that when i work otu, my ass never shrinks, it actually just grows. interesting genetics i have. some say i’m unlucky, but i say heck, some big-ass-lovin’ amazing person is going to sweep me off my feet one of these days and make me regret wanting to be single all these years.

    (i can check #113 off of my goals for 2010: say “ass” on the hootenannie blog.” DONE. DID.)

  5. Tad on March 29, 2010 at 12:54 PM

    Oh please do go up the tank-man and ask him to give you some workout ideas! Then you can blog about how he tripped all over himself trying to help you!

    Also, you are very beautiful the way you are, so don’t go trying to work out in order to “look better”. Do it to get stronger.

    FYI: Pull-ups are more about back strength that arms. So don’t forget your back. If you want to builld muscle faster, take a soy protine suppliment (stuff you can stir in milk/water). Protine builds muscles, and soy is jacked full of estrogen, which you want.

  6. annie on March 29, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    Looooove that picture! And your sense of humor.

  7. Jacklyn Johnston on March 29, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    Oh my gosh Annie. This is awesome. haha. Love how you plan for that moment when you might be hanging off a cliff. HAHA. That picture is priceless. So good. Laughing out loud at the office on a Monday=awesome.

  8. Hiram Ring on March 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM

    “The guy whose neck is just a direct path from his ear to his collarbone.” Classic!

  9. Kate McDonald on March 31, 2010 at 11:31 AM

    that picture of you is to die for.

    that’s all i got

  10. hootenannie » Blog Archive » Wetterhorn on July 12, 2010 at 7:26 AM

    […] listen.  I’m no rock climber.  I have no triceps, remember?  Plus, heights and me?  We don’t get along so well.  It’s not so much the […]

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