Ending well


When I wrote this, I thought I was writing just for me. But today, I kind of want to share it.


For some time now, I have been in… a relationship? Perhaps not the right word.

Something special. Something that burned fast and bright, like a bottle rocket — but after a short time, burned right out and fell from the sky. Something that, like so many beautiful things, was fleeting.

While the ending of it was sad, our parting conversation was honest, warmhearted, and generous — to an eavesdropper with no context, we may have seemed enamored. We expressed care and respect for one another, demanding nothing in return, gracefully letting each other go.

I have never experienced such a healthy goodbye with a man.

We successfully cared for, and received care from, each other. We successfully opened our hearts and dropped our defenses. We successfully took a risk. And in the end, for legitimate reasons, we successfully walked away, shoulders back and selves intact.

For me, this is a victory. Just because it hurt did not mean that I was losing — the hurt actually meant that I WON. It meant that I had allowed someone in — something that I find difficult to do.

I experienced a relationship ending well — and it’s one of the most radical things I have ever done.


There are few things in life as wonderful as a good man.

Take heart. They do exist.



  1. Angie N on November 3, 2011 at 8:23 AM

    Thanks for the reminder they exist, sometimes that’s all a girl needs.

  2. Christina W. on November 3, 2011 at 8:32 AM

    Have I ever told you you’re my hero?

  3. Tad on November 3, 2011 at 9:14 AM

    Great post. There’s so much here to take to heart.

    I like you. You’re pretty fantastic.

  4. wrecklessgirl on November 3, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    annnnd, as usual, you and i share parallel experiences & Places. i just wrote something last night to one particular Good Man (the first, and I FEEL what you say, “They do exist!” : “You’re not just an illusion derived for my extremely poor fortune in the matters of like and love; yet i wish i could express how very realistic i am, still, I realize it’s (heart) healthy to appreciate a Good thing, even knowing it may not be good anymore one day.”

  5. Sarah on November 3, 2011 at 10:11 AM

    This is something I know, deep down, but it’s still nice to be reminded. And thanks for just being so open with your little group of followers :).

  6. kendall on November 3, 2011 at 10:52 AM

    it seems some things, and in particular relationships, get to end well, and healthy to remind us that endings can be as affirming in the deepest reality of who we are as much as beginnings can remind us who we forgot we were meant to be.

  7. Katherine M on November 3, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    Beautiful Annie, seconding the first two posts from Angie and Christina and adding that I am so glad you had such a heartening victory in your upward climb.

  8. Anya Elise on November 3, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    Your heartfelt words, and the honesty with which you write them, are really an inspiration, Annie.

  9. erin in idaho on November 3, 2011 at 8:49 PM

    so needed right now AP. we should talk soon about this, and us. miss you lovely.

  10. Lindsey on November 4, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    The fact that you were able to exit your romantic relationship intact and well speaks to maturity and wisdom and grace. That’s a beautiful reminder that hurt and sadness doesn’t have to be accompanied by bitterness and the bruising of one’s heart.

  11. Monarch on November 6, 2011 at 5:41 PM

    You give me hope. :)

  12. Sarah Kate on November 7, 2011 at 10:08 AM

    And when you find the right one, your heart wants nothing but to open up to him and you realize you’re not so broken after all.

  13. Janelle from Canada on November 5, 2014 at 7:39 PM

    Hope. Sometimes it’s all we need. Thank you for letting me know this is possible.

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