Annie Parsons, pure brawn


Arriving home after work last night, I opened the living room curtains to let in some light. There on the windowpane was a spider, which, obviously, is unacceptable. So I grabbed a flip-flop and swatted the glass.

And the entire window shattered.

I shattered my living room window with a flip-flop – because if there’s anything I’m made of, it’s unbridled strength.

My first reaction was laughter – the kind that you try to stifle so it winds up snorting out your nose. But then I thought of all the cuss words. My windows are from the 1920s – single-paned, wooden-framed, on tracks with weights in the walls to suspend them open – and they can’t be easy (or cheap) to repair.

For now, I’ve duct taped a mega piece of cardboard over the breach, my slapdash attempt at home security.

They say that women are like tea bags – we don’t know our own strength until we’re in hot water. Well guess what. Women are also like sledgehammers.

Think about THAT.



  1. The Zadge on June 25, 2013 at 7:21 PM

    I might have to start calling you Big Foot.

  2. Greta on June 25, 2013 at 9:28 PM

    Haha! I knew as soon as you posted that Instagram that this would have to be a blog. I started giggling as soon as I saw the title.

    If bad things have to happen to you, I’m thankful you’re at least able to turn them into entertainment for the rest of us. ;)

    (Just kidding.)

    (Kind of.)

  3. Michael Rhyne on June 26, 2013 at 10:26 AM

    What Greta said… Also, I once had a colleague who embraced a certain way of looking at history and had a very subtle way of getting her point of view across. We called it smacking students with the velvet hammer. You are a velvet sledgehammer! Much love and hopes for affordable repairs.

  4. Miranda on June 26, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    Ha! I love you. This is great. And hopefully not too expensive…

  5. Alissa on June 26, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    Just a thought… this might not be worth a homeowners’ claim. Likely much more cost effective to just pay for the repair out of pocket. (Posting this comment makes me feel very old.)

  6. Brenda on June 28, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    Oh dear…that is funny and sad at the same time. I have to know …did you get the spider?

  7. Sarah on June 29, 2013 at 5:24 PM

    Definitely… the important question is DID THE SPIDER PERISH??? Spiders just don’t live, if I can help it.

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