hootenannie

In an effort to distract myself from the early polls, last night I watched “Believe,” a 2013 documentary about Justin Bieber. Before you deem this an unpatriotic use of my time on the evening of an unprecedented election, remember that based on Trump’s non-existent qualifications, Bieber has a shot at being president someday too. Given…

Raise your hand if you’ve been reading this blog since 2008. [Hi Mom. Greta, of course. Hey there Valerie Morby!] If you’ve been here for a while, you might remember the time that a 13-year old girl from Virginia googled her own name — which happened to be Annie Parsons — and landed on this…

This weekend, I made a searching and fearless moral inventory. Of my closet. Over the years, my stockpile of clothing had become unwieldy and entirely unreasonable. As someone who has moved more often than many, one would think that I might have done a better job at paring down the collection every now and then…

My last day at my job was August 18, and the very next morning, I left Minneapolis for a 6,000-mile road trip. I’m two weeks in, and am having such a good time I’ve decided to never get a job again. I will buy a camper and live in KOAs around the country until the…

About a month ago, I stubbed my toe so mightily I broke it. This is not an unusual occurrence for me. I suppose I walk with a lot of force? And into things? Is there honestly a better explanation for why one frequently stubs toes? Last night, I was heading to the living room to…

HERE IS THE BACKSTORY: Back in mid-June, I got pink eye — or if I want to sound older than a fourth grader, conjunctivitis. It was gross and ugly and uncomfortable and all of those things that you remember your childhood pink eye to be. I looked like I had been crying all the time,…

Write in the middle of it. That’s what someone told me to do. As an introvert, my inclination is to wait until things are settled, processed, and sorted before sharing news in any kind of broad way — but I’m realizing that it might be awhile before things are settled, processed, and sorted, so OH…

If you really want to torture yourself, keep your email address linked with the house you used to own in a city where real estate is on a rapid upward trajectory. Once a week or so, you’ll get an update that tells you how much the value of your former home has increased, i.e. how…

Some uncomfortable situations are worth stretching and growing for; others might only make you unhappy. It’s important — and sometimes difficult — to know the difference. It doesn’t matter if it takes you five minutes or five years: As soon as you know a romantic interest should no longer be a romantic interest, cross him…

If you know me at all, you know my fence. Installing it was a huge deal in my life, and I talk about it to basically everyone I know. (I never promised I was cool.) But when I moved into the house, there was an old stretch of a privacy fence at the top of the…