Now I know

And no, not because it’s been so awful. Only because nobody else could ever, ever compare. I will always be a JAM girl. And now, excuse me while I go weep.

I talk to people on the phone all day at work, walking them through various Computer Things.  Yesterday, while the customer’s internet connection was moving slowly and we were waiting for the page to pull up, she decided to make small talk.  She asked me if I’d seen the pictures of the coyote that got…

I don’t watch the news anymore – ever.  I don’t have time in the morning, I don’t have time at night, and so I just don’t do it.  I mean, I hear things – but I don’t know the stories.  I catch snippets – but don’t know the details. Currently, I have no idea what…

For as much as I love cheese – which, trust me, my devotion is infinite and everlasting – I rarely eat grilled cheese.  Chalk it up to just another childhood overdose – I never eat peanut butter & jelly, either.  Grilled cheese lost its appeal before Clinton took office. Which is why it was shocking…

As inspired by a solo-hiking trip in East Tennessee on Saturday. When you come to a fork in the road, and one sign points to “scenic overlook” and the other points to “short cut,” take the short cut.  There’s a chance that the scenic overlook will be spectacular – but then again, it may just…

I tout myself as a thrifty person – one who hates to waste anything – and will find a use for every half-used jar of marmalade, every discarded ribbon from a birthday present, every unloved piece of furniture. However, I am a fraud – no better than a snake oil salesman. My parents recently visited…

A notorious over-packer, I recently flew back from a 2-day trip to Seattle with a suitcase weighing in at 49.5 lbs. – one shoe away from the overweight charge.  And that’s not to mention anything of my second suitcase. Travel this weekend, I was determined, would be different. Flying to Kansas City on Friday night,…

Me: “Don’t you want to roll your eyes at people who don’t know the difference between stationary and stationery?” Him: “It’s an easy mistake – the only way I remember it is that e goes with envelope.” Me: “I remember it because e goes with letter… which, now that I think about it, is a…

On Facebook, sometimes users are required to type in a word to verify that one is indeed a human and not a cyborg or a hacker. It’s called a “captcha” – get it, like, “capture,” but all loosey-goosey and free-style? Say it with attitude – move your shoulders with each syllable. “Captcha.” (You totally whispered…

There is a client who frequents the office. I know his name, and respectfully call him “Doctor _________.” Because he is a doctor. Except no. No he isn’t. Today, my co-worker said, “Why do you call him ‘doctor’? He’s not a doctor.” Why did I think he was? What did I mis-hear, or mis-interpret, or…