Transformation

Several years ago, I took to writing the word “grit” on my wrist. Any time I was faced with a challenge, emotional or physical, I would take a Sharpie and give myself a visible reminder to hang tough. Because that’s what grit is: courage in the face of anything. Strength of character. Steely-eyed endurance. Firmness…

I’ve decided to start painting my fingernails. This may sound inconsequential, but it feels significant: it’s a tiny symbol of an effort toward beauty. I’ve lived in Denver for three years, and while by no means have I “let myself go,” my circumstances during this time have not exactly required me to bring a fashionable…

Well, well.  Happy new year, all.  And just in time – I’ve never needed a new year so badly.  I was so ready to drop-kick 2011 Beckham-style out the door and usher in 2012, fresh, hopeful, and, as of yet, untainted.  Hallelujah and amen. You may be wondering what life has looked like since I…

I mean, you guys.  Have you been watching? I caught up last night, and had tears rolling down my face. This is the greatest show. I love that the contestant’s weight loss is something that they cannot fake – you watch their physical transformation over the period of 4 months, and no amount of special…

This past Saturday morning when I was out on a walk, I got the mother of all sunburns.  I was over a mile closer to the sun than many of you, AND I’m pigment-deficient – it’s only natural. By Saturday afternoon, I was radiating so much heat, you could have fried an egg on my…

Without first being angry, you cannot forgive. Without first being unsure, you cannot trust. Without first being afraid, you cannot be brave. If you find yourself in any of these less-than-desirable places today, you are really just on the verge of a beautiful opportunity. A chance to forgive.  A chance to trust.  A chance to…

I have negative triceps. There’s, like, nothing there. If my arms were outerspace, there would be a black hole where my triceps are supposed to be. Haha, PHYSICS JOKE!!! Science is sooooo funny. I am 3 1/2 years older than my sister Becca, so when I was 15 and basically the same size I am…

On Sunday, while talking to my mom, one of my major insecurities fell out of my mouth.  Without the slightest hesitation, it slipped off my tongue – and landed right there on the coffee table. “Where did you learn that?” she asked.  “Why do you feel that way about yourself?” And for the past 36…

It’s amazing how quickly I, an alleged full-grown woman, can revert back to feeling like I did with other girls in elementary school: insecure, timid, and small.  Recently, a moment leapt out of nowhere and grabbed me by the throat, reducing me to those irrepressible tears that leave me shaky and sick to my stomach…

This weekend, I was overwhelmed with a wave of… I don’t know. Shame? Guilt? Regret? I was knocked off my feet a few days ago, and since then, it’s been a deluge of memories and hauntings and disappointments. I don’t know why I was created the way that I was – wired to both express…