The plan (or lack thereof)
First things first.
Did anyone else notice that they said “hootenanny” last night during “Lost”? My name was said on national television! I AM SO TOTALLY FAMOUS!!!
Next things next.
Last night as I was dying my hair, it hit me: I am a responsible and intelligent girl, not one to slack and make bad financial decisions… and maybe it was the ammonia, but… I don’t think I’m going to get a job for a while.
Since I ended my tenure as the Temptress, I have felt a burden lifted – a heavy weight that I didn’t recognize was there, since I was too busy convincing myself to be grateful for a job at all. But once I walked out of those heavy glass doors, box of possessions in hand, I felt it: I could breathe.
For the last two weeks, I have felt so light, so buoyant, so UNLIKE 2008 ANNIE. I am realizing that over the past year, I had been so entrenched in the daily grind that I had lost the part of me that I rather like – the part that says things like, “Tell me about your day,” and “How are you doing?” and “I’d love to get together!” and “Yes, 10am sounds perfect,” and “Sure, let’s drive to Pennsylvania.” Instead, there were a lot of grunts and frowns and silences.
There were also a lot of Facebook video wall posts, which was always a little bit awkward the next day.
Anyhoodles.
Obviously, I cannot and will not stay jobless forever. I’m too high-maintenance, and I know it. One of these days, I’m going to snap, and scream, “Give me Aveda! NO MORE SUAVE!” But until then, I will be engaging in a season of Survivor: Nashville. I am allowing my spirit to take a deep breath, living much more simply, and finding creative solutions to my financial problems (and yes indeed, of course, there are problems).
I’m going to take advantage of this time and drive to Kansas City next week to help my family during a period of major transition. I’m going to spend some days working on my EP. I’m going to stretch something called my IT band, which I didn’t even know I had – until it got terribly inflamed and rendered me semi-crippled. I’m going to continue applying for jobs. And I’m going to hope and pray that the right position will come along at the right time.
A foolish risk? Perhaps. Worth it? I hope.
In the meantime, you should see my hair. It is dyed. It is fabulous. It is foxy. It is… exactly the color it was before.
But BETTER.
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tags: Change | Contentment | Faith | Freedom | Hair | Happiness | Hope | Money | Unemployment
IT band? This is why I don’t run. Yup, that’s the reason.
WOO… SO right there with you. It’s like my life finally started.
Endless possibilities now await us… we can find ways to pay the bills, but not be enslaved to jobs that make us miserable. I LOVE my lifestyle. I am so much more happy. I’m learning new skills, painting, refinishing furniture, sleeping in, and going for walks… things I could never do before.
Of course, our friends with 9-5’s hear/read us saying things like this and think “oh they’re just trying to make themselves feel better”. What they don’t know is that it may just be true.
i DID notice that on LOST…and thought of you…haha :)
You’re coming to Kansas City? We should get coffee!
Anyhoodles?? That’s awesome!
You always make me laugh out loud.
Do you have the book, “Hoot’n Annie?”
wait, what is this miraculous thing that people are finding “ways to pay the bills, but not be enslaved to jobs that make us miserable”??? I want to know this secret!
My secret to having income without being in a job that makes me miserable? Just keep doing the miserable job until one day you get promoted and then it’s not quite as miserable as before. Rinse, Repeat. I’ve found this technique to be very useful.
I think the key might be to be in the daily grind, but yet not be IN the daily grind. Is the grind in the mind?
But all that said, I totally saved 20k and moved to NZ for 2 years once.
I heard your shout out on Lost and totally smiled for you!
I know the right job will come along for you. Take the time you have now and enjoy yourself…
I think when things get really busy and we’re just living day to day our real selves get hidden or buried a little bit. At one point during one of those times I happened upon a picture of myself when I was about 4 years old. Just me outside in the sun smiling at the camera in a pink dress. I looked so relaxed and the photo just captured…me. The original true me. And at that moment I made a decision to always remember that me and to let her play whenever she could.
So all that to say, you go right ahead and let your spirit breathe! Let your 4 year old self play and explore and keep following your heart.
I loved being 4.
I must say this Type A, tightly holding, yuppie-type girl does not quite understand all this talk of being free, but I am glad you all can enjoy it! :) I do not have a huge tolerance for ambiguity, unfortunately.
(Actually, when I was 23 in 2001, I was RIF’d – corporate speak for “reduction in force” – and was out of a job for about five weeks. It did turn out to be a blessed time in many ways, so I do know a little bit of the feelings you’re expressing, Annie. But I will also add that I was glad to get a better job before my five-week severance ran out! :)
unemployment made me a better friend and hang, hands down i know it and for that reason alone am grateful for the few months i had to eat pb&j for almost every meal barring the coffee people would buy for me :)
Annie, I enjoy reading your blog. However I think you meant dyeing your hair (coloring), not dying (ceasing life). Keep up the great work.