Taking up arms


The cruise ship is a battle zone, and I am at war.

I refuse to gain a pound a day.

But this is proving to take some serious combat.

I wake up each morning and put on my armor: a reasonable breakfast of one egg over easy, a small bowl of cereal, and an Americano.  But after that, it is clear to me that the ms Zaandam wants me guillotined.

Their battle cry:
Free food! All day!
Stuff yourself at the buffet!

Over and over.  And over.  And starts again at 11pm.

I am notoriously thrifty, hate to waste anything, and to hear that something is free makes me want to take full advantage.  You mean to tell me that I can order three appetizers, an entrée, AND dessert?  Get down on it, mama.

Thankfully, there is a gym at the front of the ship, and I’ve been running off 19,000 calories every day.  I have also taken on the identity of Elevator Hater, and walk the 8 flights of stairs at least 12 times each day.  In heels.

This is my martyrdom.  Because if you haven’t gorged yourself on mussels, bread, scallops, cheese trays, salmon, filet mignon, cookies, papaya, guacamole, pasta, and hot fudge brownie sundaes, washed it all down with wine and mojitos and margaritas, and then navigated 8 flights of stairs on a swaying ship in a cocktail dress and heels, then I’m sorry, my friend.

You do not know sacrifice.



  1. FW on July 5, 2009 at 5:50 PM

    some sacrifice!

  2. wrecklessgirl on July 5, 2009 at 6:15 PM

    i love everything that comes out of your lips–this was funny, but seriously encouraging in a serious way. if you know what i mean!

  3. Colleen on July 6, 2009 at 9:09 AM

    What cruise are you on??? I’m going on the ms Volendam in August to Alaska! I’m so excited…..but after reading this I know it will be both a blessing and a curse. Hang in there!

  4. Sarah on July 6, 2009 at 9:13 AM

    I love that you did not take a vacation from blogging and are still dedicated to making our mornings :). Enjoy!

  5. Nashville Miranda on July 6, 2009 at 9:30 AM

    Go to those midnight buffets and don’t worry about a sensible breakfast, ok! How many times will you be able to eat that amazing food for free?! If you gain 1 or 2 pounds a day, there will just be more Annie P to love. And that’s a good thing. :) Bon appetit!

  6. Greta on July 6, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    Holy smokes. I’m salivating.

    So you’re having fun?? And you’re blogging!!

  7. Laura on July 6, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    On our last cruise, Scott and I gained one pound…every day. Good luck!

  8. Terry McNichols on July 6, 2009 at 12:46 PM

    Ken & I cruised 46 days in the 2005 (he was working, teaching music lessons on board and I was just playing) and we didn’t gain a pound. My goal was 5000 steps before breakfast, never an elevator, healthy breakfast and lunch, great dinner, skip most of the buffets! You can do it! Or you can just enjoy yourself and work it off next week!!!! (But if you watch some of the people eating, it grosses you out enough to make you diligent.)

  9. Tad on July 6, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    The level of suffering that you are being forced to endure makes me weep inside for you. ;)

  10. Lyla on July 6, 2009 at 4:51 PM

    Did you get to watch any fireworks?

    To Colleen: You’re taking what people in Ketchikan Alaska would refer as a “dam” boat.

    The cruise ships are good for tourism, but they block the view of the ocean and being a one hour photo person and having to develop 20 rolls before the person gets back on one of those “dam” boats sucks.

  11. Lyla on July 6, 2009 at 4:51 PM

    Just realized you’re on a “dam” boat, too, Annie.

  12. Sarah Markley on July 6, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    just got caught up on all of your posts. do i get to meet you someday?

    maybe when i finally get to nashville, huh?

    hope you are having fun on your cruise!

  13. Cara on July 6, 2009 at 11:39 PM

    in the wind friend, that’s where you need to throw it. enjoy it and we can walk off the any possible excess when you get back!

  14. Casey Evans on July 7, 2009 at 2:24 PM

    sorry to hear you’re having such a terrible time:)

    maybe a big cooler and a bunch of food to stock your freezer with could be your trip souvenirs?

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