Aggravation

Confession: I haven’t written a song since November. GAH.  I don’t want anyone to know that!  I am such a fraud. I feel like a snail – one that has been left out in the brutal sunshine, shriveled up inside its flimsy shell.  I feel no inspiration.  I have no ideas. Oh, sure.  One might…

On Saturday, I had an idea: “I should go to Forever 21!”  This always sounds like a good idea – cheap clothes, cute ruffles, trends that will go out of style tomorrow but you must have them today, etc.  However, upon my arrival at the front doors, I was reminded of the cold, hard truth…

The first call came at 12:45am. “Hi, I’m wondering if you still have the cat mailbox?” Um, what? “The cat mailbox! I just saw the ad on Craigslist.” Excuse me? “Posted about a half hour ago – it’s darling.” Lady, it’s the middle of the night, and I have no idea what you’re talking about….

I write every day.  For me, it’s like drinking water, or breathing air – I have to do it, or I feel like I’m going to fade away.  Sometimes the things that I write get posted here, sometimes they turn into songs – or scraps of songs, sometimes they exist for my eyes only.  And…

After being sent home at 1:30 yesterday afternoon, I put on my sweats and made a cheesecake. Then I fell asleep around 5:30, not waking up until 9pm. I felt like hell and looked like death, all sweaty and splotchy-faced. Then I took 3 doses of nighttime cold medicine and slept from 11pm until 10am….

Yesterday was a day when my panties were in a twist. Figuratively. And, come to think of it, literally. I am once again AT THAT POINT. The point where the house is a disaster, the dishes have piled up for days, I sleep curled in the only corner of my bed that isn’t strewn with…

Yesterday, I was this close to writing about Twitter, and calling it “N is for NOBODY CARES.” But I figured that all of you Tweety Birds would be hurt. And when I’m honest, isn’t this blog just one big, festering, narcissistic Twit? Or whatever. So instead of ranting about our culture’s obsession with broadcasting the…

Notice of Termination Dear Summer,We regret to inform you that you are being fired, effective immediately. Technically, you should have been gone weeks ago – on the Autumnal Equinox, as universally agreed – but obviously, you had your Nashville constituents fooled. You hid your face for a week or so, only to reappear on the…

For those of you who do not live in the Nashville area: currently, we are experiencing a gas shortage. A gas crisis. The city is out of fuel. Blame it on Hurricane Ike, blame it on the government, blame it on people being worked into a frenzy and hoarding fuel – whatever the reason, the…

I don’t think that women should wait until they get married to get good kitchen gadgets. That would be a drag. And so a couple of years ago for my birthday, all that I asked for was a set of sharp knives in a cutting block, and a really awesome blender. Note: this was the…