Death

I grew up as a pastor’s daughter, an identity that I largely shook when I left home at 18, but which played an undeniable role in my formation. In getting to know other pastor’s kids (PKs) over the years, I’ve found some common threads in our experiences; for example, the pressure of visibility, unfair expectations…

I’m in the Pacific Northwest where the leaves are the color of sweet potatoes, the color of pumpkins. After a long, brutal summer, it’s as if all of nature is conspiring to remind me that it’s time for a new season. Madeline L’Engle says, “Until I can mourn the loss of a dream, I cannot…

The past several weeks have been so full. I’ve had multiple work trips (Minneapolis, San Francisco, Anaheim), three humongous work events, houseguests, family visits, and a particular emotional roller coaster that’s still unfolding. With each close friend that I confide in, I realize that my heart is hoping more and more for a certain outcome,…

Less than two weeks after taking her to Kansas City, my mom called to let me know that Toad had taken an abrupt turn for the worst. She was in a lot of pain, and the X-rays showed that she had no discs left in her neck. Severe arthritis was taking over. Her back legs…

On September 18th, we lost my grandma to pancreatic cancer.  She was diagnosed back in July, and even though we knew that death was coming, it still felt very sudden. This past Saturday, we laid her to rest in Richland, WA, and then celebrated her life during a 2-hour service at the church she had…

My grandma has lived in the same house for 57 years.  Fifty-seven. She spent the entirety of her marriage there.  She raised her children there, from infancy to adulthood.  Her kids, her grandkids, and her great-grandkids have eaten in that same kitchen, swam in that same pool, and sat on that same front porch.  She…

“Can I put the arm rest up?” “Sure.” [spilling over into my seat]  “I’m still a big girl.  But I’ve lost over 200 lbs.” “Wow – that’s incredible!  Congratulations – what an accomplishment.” “No more seat-belt expander for me.” [high-five with a 70-year old woman, initiated by yours truly] “I’m Pat, by the way, and…

In the past week, a lot of life has happened. I got two different phone calls reporting engagements, and one reporting a suicide.  I had my soul fed by nourishing, true words – and I had my feelings hurt by a single thoughtless sentence.  I felt pretty and then I felt ugly and then I…

Last week, my sister-in-law lost her dad.  My nephews lost a grandpa.  And all of the Parsons lost a man who has been family for the past 9 years. Today, Kent McElroy will be laid to rest in a cemetery in Missouri.  A few weeks ago, he chose his plot, and bought kites to be…

On Friday night, I attended a memorial service of a dear friend in Seattle.  While there in the church pew, celebrating the life of and grieving the loss of this amazing woman, another friend took my hand and placed it on her pregnant belly to feel the baby kick. One friend is giddy about a…