Hope

Quick – what’s a stronger word for “lousy”?

Some things have happened lately – some things that have left me feeling really lousy. Worse than lousy. I would say “shitty,” except then some people might get upset. So I’ll just leave it at lousy. What are these “things” that have happened? Well, take your pick – there’s a panoply. But I don’t want…

Read More »

Living in the present tense

I spend a lot of time in the past and in the future. I think back on how things once were, and I look ahead in anticipation of what might eventually come. It’s hard work to dwell in the present. I am often tempted to look at my “present” as being on a merry-go-round. Life…

Read More »

Shifting my perspective

I worry. I worry about my bank account and my weight and my future. I worry that I am on the wrong track. I worry about gas prices and war and skin cancer. I worry about my lack of health insurance. I worry that I am never going to have the opportunities that I hope…

Read More »

So this is hope

“Crying is all right in its way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.”— C.S. Lewis (The Silver Chair) I’ve done my fair share of crying since I arrived here in Nashville. Everything about this transition has felt so different (i.e….

Read More »

Flour in the can

Last year, when I moved away from Seattle, I gave up a lot. I know that things weren’t perfect. But in my 7 years in the Emerald City, I established quite a life for myself. Friends who became family. A home that I loved. The opportunity to do music on a regular basis. The knowledge…

Read More »

Why I’m here

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this whole Nashville thing. I’ve been here for 7 weeks now, and they have been challenging, hard weeks. The questioning and stress that happens during transition is unsettling, and in no way have I been immune from this rough passage. I have wondered if I made the…

Read More »

The discipline of waiting

Someday, I will have all 4 hubcaps for my Honda. Someday, I will not have to use milk crates as furniture. Someday, I will climb the cliffs of Cinque Terre. Someday, I will own a very grown-up chocolate brown couch. Someday, I will read the classics. Someday, I will have medical insurance. Someday, I will…

Read More »

Unfolding

January was a great run, in terms of blogs. Check it out – 28 posts! That is by far my highest record to date. I’m glad that you’re reading. I like you. Thanks for continually checking in and following along in the adventure that is my life. It’s funny: I have always been a person…

Read More »

Homeless, not hopeless

The housing options continue to line up, and then get knocked over like dominos. It is frustrating. It is disappointing. I think that my favorite thing in the world is having a home – and this is magnified by the fact that I have not had a home, a real home with my stuff set…

Read More »

Feeding faith, starving fear

This whole “chase your dreams” thing is scary business. In the span of one week, I don’t know that I have ever felt so uncomfortable, uncertain, afraid, lonely, or self-doubting. I am one who loves structure, and for things to be “set.” I want to know where the money is going to come from. I…

Read More »