hootenannie

Today, I am back to reality – back to Nashville, back to the heat, back to work, back to the gym, back to balancing my checkbook, back to routine, back to a schedule. It feels quite wretched, so much so that I accidentally started bawling last night when I got back – “accidentally” being that…

After racing my dad to the top of Mt. Roberts in Juneau on Sunday, I spent some time walking around the town.  Which, of course, led to an interesting encounter – because do I ever elude the interesting encounters? I met a greasy man on a street corner who took one look at me, and…

The cruise ship is a battle zone, and I am at war. I refuse to gain a pound a day. But this is proving to take some serious combat. I wake up each morning and put on my armor: a reasonable breakfast of one egg over easy, a small bowl of cereal, and an Americano. …

This morning, I woke up in Seattle. I am about to board a ship dedicated by Mary-Kate and Ashley in the year 2000. If I get the chance, I will karaoke Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow’s “Cruisin’” with a stranger – and that is a promise. Bon voyage!

In my opinion, the world’s scariest creature is not a shark, or a bear, or even a naked mole rat.  The one beast that I never hope to meet in a dark alley is a moose. Moose are some mean mother truckers. Ever since I read “Hatchet,” and the kid was stranded alone in the…

Jeremy: “I have some great ideas for pictures on the cruise.” Me: “Awesome!” Jeremy: “I know.  There’s one shot that I’m positive I’ll have to get.” Me: “Cool – what is it?” Jeremy: “Well, it will be you, in some sort of dress.  And we’ll go to the very front of the boat.  And you’ll…

A few months ago, PZC taught me about auto antonyms – although I think that I prefer their less-popular name, contronyms.  Any non-word-lovers out there can just call them self-contradictions (but I will judge you). What is an auto antonym?  It’s a word that can mean the opposite of itself. IMPOSSIBLE, you say. NOT WITH…

We have a small crisis at the JAM house.  One of us (I’m not saying who) got some bug bites (I’m not saying where) that are now inflamed (I’m not saying how). (Okay, I am saying how.) Never put Nair over top of bug bites. I’ll let you do the math. Nair is an evil,…

Me: “I cannot believe how much money I just spent.” Julie: “But think of all you GOT.” Black dress.  Black heels.  Hair dye.  Passport cover.  Earrings.  Toenail polish.  Face wash.  Sandals.  Tank tops. Also, a huge jug of almonds. Look out, Northwest.  The week is finally here.

Before I begin, let’s all just take a minute to acknowledge the huge thing that happened yesterday.  The thing that made the world feel small – like everyone, no matter what culture, tribe, or tongue, agreed was a big event.  An incident that shook us out of our day-to-day reality, and made us think about…